Hash 975

Well, as Ade declined to write this week’s trash I guess it is up to me.  Unfortunately it was a while ago now and a lot of time has passed since then (or do I mean wine has passed?).  Also I had a GPS Problem and lost the route – so I will have to rely on good old-fashioned memory.

It was the first run from the Red Lion at Knotty Green for many a long year.  As we gathered I thought it was going to be quite a small hash, but a last minute serge boosted the numbers considerably. 

As has become traditional, the rules were read out and, for once, there were no surprises – there was a long run (which Jane said was 5.5 miles but I ran at around 7.5) and a short cut of nearly four.  Much bravado was spoken about how real hashers don’t need torches in August (and how wrong they were).

Now there are three small sections of the route that I don’t quite remember – but as these largely coincide with the start, middle and end, the following geography may owe more to a faulty memory than to the actual route.

We started off heading towards Jane’s house (or Jane’s hose as I originally wrote but thank goodness the editor picked it up – especially as she may not have been wearing any at the time).  Just past Riding Lane we re-grouped before turning left into a field, down the steep hill and up the even steeper hill on the other side – with its predictably vicious on-back waiting for us at the top.  So back down the valley and up the other side the first six of us went, before turning around and doing it all over again.

At the top of the next hill there was another regroup – though I am not sure why as there was no “R“ marked there that I could see, and I am even less sure why the pack actually regrouped about 50 feet before the check – making Sam run all the way back before they would move on.

Lude Farm came and went as we headed remorselessly towards the hills of Wycombe Heights golf club.  Aside:  Did you hear about the Spanish golfer who got shot?   It was hole in Juan.

As we reached the golf course I heard Helen offer to show (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) someone her bum – or was it her seat? – if so it might just be possible that she was referring to her office seat which I understand is nearby, but most of us would rather contemplate the other option.  (Ed’s aside:  Helen, if you are offended by this please turn the other cheek.)

A loop back towards Longfield Wood brought us out on a quaint little triangular set of roads – one way back to the pub, the others away from it.  Yes, that’s right, we went the other way!  Most of the triangle later we found a check on the left and headed up a steep and narrow path towards Corkers Wood - then around the back of the Royal Standard towards the On-Inn. During the Civil War, the Royal Standard was used as a mustering place by King Charles I, his personal standard was raised there to draw royalist supporters in fighting for his cause.

Some years later the landlord was rewarded (by Charles II) for giving support to his now executed father and royalist supporters.  Charles II agreed to change the name of the pub from “The Ship” to “The Royal Standard of England”.  Well that’s the official story – but in truth the pub was probably honoured less for this than the fact that Charles II used to meet one of his many mistresses in the rooms upstairs!

Darkness fell as we made our way homewards to the pub.  Whilst changing in the car park Simon arrived back.  Unfortunately he had lost his keys – and somewhat entertainingly told the people in the two cars he had blocked in that he didn’t have a spare set and couldn’t get it towed away until the morning!  Sadly he lied.

A fine run and many thanks for the chips Jane!