Hash 999

As we collected at the Blackwood Arms for Graham’s virgin Hare hash, I remember idly wondering if that women will ever be equal to men unless they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut still thinking they look sexy?

As usual rules for the evening were announced and ignored among the conventional badinage and we set of, again as usual, with me checking in completely the wrong direction. The trail took us along to the main road and over it to the long, long path that Lesley took us down on her 50th Birthday hash. This time there were fewer ducks.

The first long short split came at the end of the path, with the shorts going left and the long’s failing to find the trail in any direction. After each path had been checked three times with nothing found anywhere we came up with a plan. The plan was to check it a forth time and then try to loose half of the long runners. This worked admirably until we decided, having spent some 10 minutes trying to find the trail, to follow the short route and to catch up.

About then we realised that the idea of loosing some of the long cutters, although amusing at the time, hadn’t been fully thought through. So we spent another few minutes shouting and sending out search parties.

Eventually we caught up with the re-grouping short cutters and set off again, but soon noticed that the hare wasn’t with us. Being a caring hash with a deep concern for the welfare of lost hashers we totally ignored this and ploughed on anyway. Eventually, a tired but surprisingly cheerful Graham caught up from the rear saying he had cut over from the short trail to where the longs should have been but weren’t. So, for the second time that day, he ran the long route alone.

Somewhere deep in the next forest I was impressed at the unusual flickering effect caused, obviously, by the speed I was running through the densely packed trees. Then the trees, like most hashers, turned strangely dim. Then my torch battery died and I was left in total darkness.

So, where we went after that I don’t know as I didn’t see it. And without a torch I decided to take the second short cut so don’t know where the Long group went either, but the myriad of flushed and sweaty faces when they arrived back confirmed they had had a good time.

Excellent first hash Graham!