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The Crooked Billet

The Crooked Billet - Flackwell Heath

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Hummery: A very pheasant (I mean pleasant) pub, famed for its hanging baskets, low beams, and ‘friendly’ locals...if you count a farmer with shotgun on Singles Night as 'friendly'. OK beer, not so OK soft drinks, scrummy chips, good hashmosphere - it’s a date!


Overheard on the hash (13th October 2015)

”Why are you wearing a headband around your neck?”“Because my ears get really cold” “What about your bare shoulders then?” “Ah, they’re usually very hairy…you should see my back usually!” [Nikki’s explanation as to her attire leaves more questions than answers]

”Very stylish” [General hash appreciation for a 5-star wide-stepped style, complete with balustrade]

“Strictly speaking, he could drive a tank down here if he wanted” “But it’s a Public Footpath….” “It doesn’t matter if it goes across your land” [Gerry holds forth on Rights of Way law ]

”You could have checked with the Land Registry first?” “What, to run across a path at night? “It’s a permissive path - I didn’t give you permission” [a mash-up of the conversation with the farmer]

”Oh, that’s a relief - for a second I thought we’d gone 110 miles” “How come?” “I just glanced at my watch…but it was only my heartbeat” [as an early adopter of modern technology, Gerry proves remarkably laissez-faire] 

“F*cker” [Ian - under his breath - during the 2nd farmer stand-off]“Who said that? Come on, who said it?” “She did! she did!” [suddenly speaking as men] He did! He!”  [the hash amuses itself with a lapse into Life Of Brian]

“Rwelease Rwoger !” [staying in character, the hash heckles Roger during his GM speech] ”Ahem, what’s so funny then? “Hoo hoo hoo…the little rascal has spiwit"

 “I am not the Pheasant Plucker, I’m the Pheasant Plucker’s mate, I am only plucking pheasants, Because the pheasant plucker’s late!” [The Hhash, getting warmed up now in the pub!]

“Duck!” “I thought they were pheasant…ouch!” [Zac bangs his head on a low beam in the pub]