Date : 22/02/11
Hare : Waldorf
Scribe : Coxy
Venue : The Bee
Hounds : 26     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 13.18 km
Recorded time : 94.08 min
Uphillness : 100.00 ft
I was almost persuaded on the evening to type this up in French and give you all a real challenge to read. Unfortunately as my ski holiday got ever closer and I realised the amount of work I had to do before leaving I resorted to good 'ole' English.

I arrived in Burnham early and found the Bee much more easily than expected. I don't know why but I was expecting the pub to be down a small country lane somewhere and very nearly drove straight past it. The hash got underway with Mick giving one of the most detailed set of instructions I had ever seen. He even had a list of notes to make sure he covered everything. The short run was to be 3.7 miles and the long 5.3 miles! This later caused some discussion back in the pub! I noticed Mick writing on the ground with flour the letter OS, OL, L & S and at first I wondered if this was some kind of game of noughts and crosses! Mick then explained that these were specific checks and route markings for the long and short runs. Mick also told us to look out for his car towards the end of the hash as there were to be some treats!

We set off from the car park and were immediately faced with the long short split. This is a first for me where the long and short split is at the very start. I ended up joining the short run (purely by mistake of course!). We ran through the streets of Burnham for what appeared to be an endless amount of time, I am told the long run got quite lost! We did manage to take in a number of sights of interest including the 16 century church which I can tell you was started in the reign of King Stephen (1134-54). We eventually found our way out of Burnham on what felt like an old Roman road as it was very straight and very long! Some of us stopped to chat with a very friendly cow and there were two small bridges crossing the path which became a very deep gully towards the end. Barney called it a 'ditch' and commented on how handy the bridges would be for shelter when it's raining!

We continued on into Taplow and past the village church. The long runners were attacked by Terry Wogan's very large dog and did not get much time to take in the usual beauty and calmness of this lovely village! We continued on into the countryside through Hitcham with the long run going around Hunt's wood and we met quite a lot of shiggy. Mick blamed it on the horseriders. The long run managed to bump into Helen and Carol who had arrived late and decided to run the wrong way around the hash until they met someone!

We finally got back towards Burnham where we were almost pulled off course by some footballers playing nearby. Their shouting sounded a bit like our 'On Ons'. We then made it into a housing estate which I think must be the one Mick had warned us about at the start. We managed to find Mick's car and were lucky to get there just as a group of youths tried to take the first wheel off! It's a good job we are a fit bunch of athletes as they all ran scared!! Mick arrived and opened up the boot to a wonderful display of doughnuts, flapjack, crispy cake and cookies. After filling ourselves up we ran off deeper into the housing estate to try and find the pub. We spotted the 'On Inn' but then immediately hit a dead end. Some of us began to wonder if we would ever leave that place! Eventually we found the route out and with a left turn we could see the pub in the distance.

The very welcoming pub served good beer and mountains of chips and buttered bread. I have never seen such a happy bunch of hashers as those making and eating their 'chip butties'. We had two sing songs of 'Happy Birthday' for our hare Mick and for Maggie. There was also a lot of discussion on how long the hash was. I think the general consensus was that we may need to buy Mick a new measure. One long hasher did 7.76 miles – this could be in the awards for the longest hash! (I knew there was a reason I went short!)

Thanks Mick for a great hash and for the cakes and chips!

So as not to disappoint I am going to sing Happy
Birthday in French:
Joyeuse Anniversaire
Joyeuse Anniversaire
Joyeuse Anniversaire Mick
Joyeuse Anniversaire !

Sorry this report does not come with sound!!! (Actually you may not be!)