Date : 21/08/12
Hare : John , Spy
Scribe : Ron
Hounds : 38     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 6.73 km
Recorded time : 78.48 min
Uphillness : 464.00 ft

Great turnout for John and Paul’s hash at The Wagon and Horses in Chalfont St. Peter, not bad considering just an hour before it had rained for the first time in at least a few days.  But no complaints about our beloved British weather please, we’ve had a few good weeks!  So all prepared for shiggy we set off, torches a ready (except maybe for Kev who not only forgot the said torch but also found out the perils of checking in the dark without one!).

We set off in search of our first new ‘P’ instruction situated at numerous roadside locations on route, apparently a notification of the local road users. ie ‘P’ = < > a550*1es, idiots, t**53rs & w@?*€rs , or any other non ‘P’ specific adjective to raise our awareness of their driving style.  Safely across the first road we were off into our run, with a complement of three dogs (D’for must have thought it was Christmas judging by his outfit) and two Junior Soopers (one must have thought it was winter judging by her ear warmers).  

A mile or so uphill, in between the suburbs, Niffer reminded me of a quote from last week, this is A DRINKING CLUB WITH A CHATTING PROBLEM!  We continued through and alongside various slithers of woodland with our triplet of international virgins, Vladamir from Russia, Kate and Michelle from the USA, in tow (and by ‘tow’ I mean all checking at the front and towing us along! Plus half the staff from InHealth, only happy to join in now that Hells Bells isn’t the big boss anymore!  

We were trotting along nicely and after two(ish) miles we came across the first of our false trails, which are rare on the HWH3 runs so by the time we had found there were two we were half way up our own back alleys and reminded of the old adage ‘allways watch the hares body language at  ALL checks’.  We finally found our way out into open country with hearty cry’s of ON ON allround  and then past the odd rock star mansion. Next came DID ANYONE COUNT THEM, a few (!!) kissing gates and a fabulous onback on a very narrow path with stingers and the smelliest slurry puddle of this season, thanks hares!

It was around now at a well placed ‘R’ that Roger announced that we had lost Ken and sent back our willing hare John to find him, 200 yards later we hear that Ken was ahead checking with Gerry (by now fuming that Roger hadn’t noticed he was missing too Ed’s aside, there were genuine tears in my eyes at this point – though they may have been caused by a sneaky twig swishing back into my eye.  Only to hear ‘oh well he’s the hare, should know where we are going’. We headed of in the direction of Jordans. Then on to another false trail.....ignoring the crys of ON BACK we fought our way through the brambles, with Jo gaining a few injuries on the way, and back again, can’t blame the hares for that one!

Finally the welcome sight of an ‘ON INN’ and to a pleasant pub with good ale, a huge queue of thirsty hashers developed, staring at a solo landlord serving drinks and cooking our chips! Thankfully one of our virgins rallied at the offer to come and help behind the bar, and things started to run a little smoother, she well deserved the free drink afterwoods and probably got an offer of a few shifts over the weekend, good job well done!

In  return I offered the Landlord the opportunity to join us next week as apparently he’s done two marathons and a few halves, when he declined I thought, sod him and settled down with two snickers and a few pints.....boooo I hear you cry!

Well done to Audrey for joining us on the long, even if it was accidental there’s now no excuse not to join us again next week ;-)

Thanks J and P, great Hash!