Date : 04/09/12
Hare : Klingon
Scribe : Whipping Boy
Hounds : 43     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 6.47 km
Recorded time : 76.18 min
Uphillness : 423.00 ft

Right, my turn to do the write-up, better make it memorable.


Let's see.

OK, let's go for straightforward:

We gathered by the Lethern Bottle in Lewknor, the hare gave us instructions as the dogs barked, then someone called on-on and we set off.

No, that's no good - too dull. They'll expect better than that.

How about a poem? Brilliant idea! Here goes:

'Twas down to Lewknor we didst travel,
To find the trail and try to unravel,
The path the wily hare had lay'd,
To... to... what? And what rhymes with lay'd?
Paid? Spayed? Ade? Upbraid?

Not working - ditch that idea. What else? What else?

I know! Really obscure references:

The Lethern Bottle, like Dr Johnson's description of Ovid's "Metamorphoses", translated into Macedonian, could be described thus, "Ако ви пречи да дознаете што ова всушност вели сте потажни лице од мене". Conversely, or indeed convivially, as Nietzche might have quipped...

Hold on, who's going to bother to plough through that? No-one! Or at least, no-one but the GM, and he'll want to dispute the sources. Just *too* obscure.

This is ridiculous! Surely I can come up with something!!

Nursery rhyme?

Jack & Jill went up the hill,
To find the blobs of flour,
Jack & Jill came down again,
In a touch under three hours.

Pah! Mediocre at best.

Morse code?

... . .-. .. --- ..- ... .-.. -.-- --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / ... --- / ... .- -.. / -.-- --- ..- / .--. . --- .--. .-.. . !

I reckon Benchbreaker's the only person old enough to remember that, or dumb enough to find out what it says...

Oh, I give up.

Besides, it doesn't matter if I write some great work of creative literature, since Gerry will only mess it up when he types up the Hash Trash, hell fill it full og tyops and punctuation mistake's.