Date : 22/01/13
Hare : Helles Belles , Ron
Scribe : Barney
Hounds : 24     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 8.77 km
Recorded time : 78.32 min
Uphillness : 545.70 ft

A real snowy hash for it started snowing when we arrived and continued throughout the evening. Helles piped up about the difficulties of spotting flour in the snow, desperate to be overheard above Poppy and Radley's excited and impatient yapping, she explained that a blow on her whistle meant that the 1st four hashers at the front would be required to go to the back. In K9 contrast Dfer had his tail between his legs looking longingly at the car he clearly didn't share any of their enthusiasm for snow.

Sensibly it was pink loo roll that was to be discovered if the evenings trail was to be found and not to delay the cold start Helen called it left out of the pub to check at the nearby crossroads. Soon we were heading down the lane towards Missenden to find a footpath to a plantation of Christmas trees young and old and around a field of fruit canes.

One or two slippery styles later found ourselves listening to Hawkeye, weighting in at about a 180lb, with much middle aged bumbling complaining that Poppy, an innocent young brown spaniel puppy weighing no more than 20lbs, had poleaxed him and beaten up his shin!

We arrive at the long/short split and our smaller band of the moderately fit set off across a snowy field while the totally fit departed for further outlying cold and snowy countryside to take in Pipers Corner before linking back up with us in Hatches Lane.

Focusing on the moderately fit we sprinted through the snow, vaulted slippery styles in search of pink clues as to our righteous progress. Forging on pass Ninneywood Farm we emerged onto the Missenden Road along which we trudged to the very icy Hatches Lane and made guarded progress to the next check. Here the footpath sign had been replaced by a direction sign to a private residence. Easily confused this delayed our endeavours until the fit hashers were heard and seen like a spectacular shower of bright LED stars hurtling across the white covered hillside. Together we jogged relentlessly through a never ending Hatches Wood, but for the snow covering this would of been deep thick mud, instead a crisp soft coating of snow aided a swift progression only punctuated by Helen blowing her whistle to create many on-backs until arriving at the final check at Perks Lane leading us to the crossroads and into the Kings Arms.

A new hashing term was reported, invented by Bryony, "Crutch Slam" – a possibly peril when negotiating slippery styles or maybe someone's new hash name?

Back in the pub despite the soothing beer and scrumptious chips Hawkeyes shin was still giving him pain whilst a tired Poppy showed no ill effects from their encounter.