Ken declared the hash was 5km for the longs and 5jm for the shorts. We all know Ken's Kenometres and I for one knew I would be going short. I at least wanted one pint before retiring to bed.
The weather was fine and clear and Ken assured us there was no 'shiggy' which was a good thing because (in case you hadn't noticed) I was wearing my new, and until then, clean running shoes. As it turned out Ken was nearly right, the course was almost dry and 'shiggy' clear. There were a few late starters, one being Simon who was nurturing a bad back and who realised after running to the bottom of Ibstone Common, he had forgotten his torch and had to go back. So he handed over Twist to Audrey and headed back. Poor Audrey, Twist doesn't like to be parted from his owner.
Apparently my wife and Audrey said Twist smiled when he returned then skipped in the air as they ran off. We ran down a lane with some houses on both sides down through the woods and also down through a field through some more woods and up a sheep-infested field to another wood where we found the long/short split.
Ten of us went short while the rest of the fools went looooooonnnnnnnng. We walked, I mean ran, a long path up beside the road eventually reaching a nice log to sit on whilst we waited for the rest to catch up. We then ran along the road where Simon and Matt decided that they could no longer run at the shorts' pace and actually ran off at their own pace. They also did a thing called an 'on back' which most of the shorts were astounded by - "why would they do that?", some muttered. After running downhill for quite some time we had to inevitably go up, and, boy, what an up it was; Ben Nevis seemed easier to ascend.
Eventually there was the on inn shout and the pub was here. Some of the walkers were there apart from my wife Michelle, Audrey and Jade who had walked their own route and nearly got 'kidnapped' by a man in a van, who drove past them, stopped and got out of his van. So the terrified women hid in a garden. The 'kidnapper' turned out to be a resident who had stopped in the road to get out and open his gate to park his car in his driveway. I had a drink (when my wife turned up with the money) then as I left the pub to go after finishing, the longs eventually turned up, some 20-25 minutes later.