Date : 16/02/16
Hare : Sarah , Speedbump
Scribe : Klingon
Venue : The Old Oak
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.91 km
Recorded time : 89.08 min
Uphillness : 707.40 ft

The Lost Cause?

You're not going out on a terrible night like this surely? Yes I am I'm going hashing in a new area for me. You must be mad.

Into the Q car with at least 20 minutes to spare, Steve Tilson playing on the CD, lovely and warm, nothing wrong with this.

Through Widmer End and arrive at the Bat & Ball, that's not it. On we go to the Amersham- High Wycombe Road. Oh dear try again, back towards Wycombe, turn right and a pub in sight, the Earl Howe, so on we go and arrive back at the Bat & Ball. Turn around and arrive at Park Parade, Hazlemere. Back up the Amersham Road to Holmer Green and do what men don't do: ask someone. It's just round the corner dear, turn left at the cross roads. Well she's right, there they are, a good crowd in front of the Old Oak. All my fault for not carrying a map, or looking at Gerry's directions

Arrive just in time to put shoes on and hear Sarah say that the longs will be just over 5 miles and the shorts 3 miles. Sounds just right for a damp cold night.

Off we all go following checks up the road, bear right and blow me we are at the Bat & Ball, I'm beginning to know this area. Shortly after we find the long/short split by a footpath sign. Where the longs went after this I have no idea as I'm Running? with the shorts.

Checking up the footpath there is no flour so Barney who is carrying Sarah's map checks it. All back towards the road when someone shouts On On through the No Through Road barrier- where else would a hash run go. Now we seem to be back as a group, but no Barney to be seen. Search party dispatched to find the map and Barney. By the time we realise we can't find Barney on the footpath and return to the group, Barney has found another way round, and there are the hares Ant & Sarah directing us on down another footpath. (Lost twice now)

Out into the country side and through some woods, there's Des running at the front, where did he come from? Very pleasant countryside, apparently the opposite way to Roger's run at the New Year, over the road at Oaklands Farm and on over pretty flat ground to find ourselves crossing the Amersham Road into Penn Wood.

Full of confidence now we go down a track into the depths of the woods, checking all round but no luck no flour. Barney consults the map, then his 'phone with GPS and directs us off piste through the undergrowth using the GPS. We stumble upon a track with flour but is it the longs route as we seem to be heading towards Amersham? Round we go following the flour and find ourselves back where we started 20 minutes ago. A good half hour of drinking wasted here, (Lost for the third time this evening).

It can only be one way now so we follow the path through an amazing amount of leaf mould shiggy, and find some flour again. Thoughts – how many types of shiggy do hashers go through – then remember going across the Thames at Medmenham and then another time going waste deep through something pretty undescribable – so stop thinking about that. On through half a mile of this mouldy shiggy and we are back at the Amersham road.

Cross the road and turn left through freezing fields straight across towards Holmer Green with the only relief being comments about Hawkeye watering the Council allotments and back to the Old Oak.

Back in the pub, the Hash take over half of it and Sarah & Ant have provided large chip butties and birthday cake for everyone, lovely. Roger leads a Happy Birthday song and no-one listens after that as usual. All in all a fantastic evening.

Thank you to Sarah and Ant for a great hash.

As for a lost cause, never. On On