Date : 23/02/16
Scribe : Sarah
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.32 km
Recorded time : 98.87 min
Uphillness : 677.50 ft

A lovely, but a little chilly, was the setting for Tuesday night's hash. We gathered in the car park of the Beech Tree, although a few of us managed to go to the wrong pub first. Obviously we thought Jo equalled the Crown at Hazlemere. Good job it is just down the road. A good turn out and the fun begins. 5 1/2 for the long and 3 1/2 for the short were promised, oh and a hill-ish, whatever a hill-ish is?! I was still trying to get my laces done up and needing some assistance from Ant, who was getting increasingly twitchy he might miss the start.

Off the run went through the back of the carpark and in the general direction of Totteridge. Then On On round the common to the Dolphin were Dick coaxed a friend out of the pub for a tune full rendition of Happy Birthday to Whoever You Are? Happy Birthday to You! Apparently the Birthday girl has been hashing before and Dick had tried to encourage her out tonight, but she had rejected his offer for a night in the Dolphin. What an excellent idea, I'd never thought of going into a pub without first running round it in a giant circle first.

Talking or circles, the next unnecessary, probably grossly inaccurate, and mildly disturbing snippet that came out of Dicks mouth was that when Nikki needs a poo she goes round and round, and similar is true of Helen.

Diving into Kings Wood, we burrowed deep into the heart of the wood. With an inconsistent smattering of flour here and there remaining, as a result the hare even got momentarily misplaced. Some hashers even gave comments such as I haven't seen any flour in 2 miles. Which I think was somewhat of an exaggeration as I'm not sure we had even gone 2 miles by this point. However, the hash was silent at points, with very few shouts of On On. Only the jovial chatter of Mick reminiscing over the finer ales of this world could be heard in the otherwise quiet gloom. Despite the gloom Ade could still see his house from here.

We escaped the wood at last and ran around the estates of Tyler's Green. Where Kevin and Andy took advantage of the children's swings, Kevin using the swings as a chin up bar, and Andy just for a little swing.

Our jaunt out in the open was short lived as we dived in to Common Wood. Getting out again was more interesting as a flock of hashers piled into the end of some ones garden. Finally escaping for a meander around the Hazlemere states before a final drop back into the darkness of Kings Wood.

On the On Inn drag up from the bowls of Kings Wood we discovered what a hill-ish was. A hill-ish is an endless uphill drag of contestant shiggy, possibly hellish would have been more appropriate wording.

While the runners were off, the walkers had an equally lovely time enjoying the fresh air. We walked up to Hazlemere Cross roads and then back along the playing fields and woodland that leads back to the pub. Having gone to all the effort of putting my walking boots on with my increasing large tummy and inability to bend. Oh, and having caused Ant to get grumpy because he had to help me when he wanted to hear Jo's introduction for the write up, so I insisted we went along the fields and woodland rather than the road. I'm not sure all the walkers liked that decision by the time we were skidding through shiggy on the final stretch to the pub. Sorry Dave! However, my walking boots certainly came in handy and Ant's help was not wasted.

Everyone had safely arrived back in the pub. With the exception of Matt for whom back isn't quite the right choice or word considering he had only just pulled up while we were changing. This led him to coin the term Driving Pub, where you drive straight to the pub and then go straight in, revolutionary. Andy however debunks the idea of driving to a hash as overrate, and he does have a point.

We were greeted by lots of chips and a plentiful supply of birthday goodies. Not only did we have one birthday, we had several. Maggie's rocky road was certainly a hit with the hash, much to Dave's disappointment. He was hoping to take the box home with him. A little of his smile disappeared every time someone's hand reached for another piece. I think Maggie needs to make more rocky road!

Some say his favourite tune is Happy Birthday and he can whistle with any part of his anatomy but all we know is he's our GM. With a whistle the rounds of happy birthday begin once for Maggie, another for Mick, and then another, maybe another. Followed by the news the Hash Weekend Away will be I can't remember where and in September, that's all I need to know, sign us up.

Then finally a shout out for a shameless plug that Anthony & Sarah are organising another Ceilidh on the Saturday the 2nd of April.

Another great hash Jo! Well done!