Date : 07/06/16
Hare : Hawkeye
Scribe : Crazy
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 11.51 km
Recorded time : 133.73 min
Uphillness : 370.16 ft

The Almost to a Pub hash

So, following on from the hash last week where there was no pub, this week we have an almost-to-a-pub hash. Billed as starting from the Royal Oak, Farnham Common, Sandra and I contemplate jogging there: "It's only a couple of miles", "But last time we waded there through the snow, they would not let us in because of the dog". We decide to drive so D4 can sit in the car.

Arriving at the pub, meeting the other hounds in the large car park, we start the normal meet and greet, while the Hare is in consultation with the publican. "Can we move our cars please?" asks the Hare. So after the initial confusion a stream of cars heads out of the car park. We regroup in the public car park almost opposite the Stag and Hounds, a much friendlier pub we have hashed from numerous times before.

The Hare leads us off on an On Out (the first to my knowledge), to find some flour. The flour once found was of course followed the wrong way by some, "Not that way, that goes to the pub we are not using". We head off towards Burnham Beeches, past Alex's bush (floral thing at the boundary of his house), where there are mutterings of "the right kind of flour" as the hashers debate the likelihood of a run in with a Burnham Beeches Ranger. However, it is not to be as we turn right towards Egypt, the hash splitting to take either the road or the track through the trees on the right, eventually recombining before we all turn left into the woods. The conversation naturally focuses on the wisdom of a pub turning away 40+ customers and names for such a pub/publican. The term pubicide (pub suicide) definitely not being suitable after a quick look on Google.

A little way into the woods is the long/short split. "There's no map for the long, but it's well marked" the hare informs us. The added distance at the beginning, and the fact that the hare is going short, scares off the recent long converts. The shorts turn right at a guess going almost to the Yew Tree (ex-pub now Indian restaurant), whilst the longs turn left going almost to the Blackwood Arms (another pub we're not welcome at) but turning right before it or the Jolly Woodman (also known as the Grumpy Woodman if the bar lady is having a bad day – which is quite often). It's incredibly humid and we're all looking and feeling a bit hot and sweaty (yuk!).

Budgie Smuggler (a Farnham Common local) leads the way for the longs along an excellently-marked flour trail through the woods, right along Abbey Park Lane and right again along Harehatch Lane. Reaching the main road (A355), apparently breakaway parties formed in both long and short packs following the main road determined to actually see a pub (or more accurately pub converted to Indian Restaurant). The rest carry straight on down Kiln Lane heading towards the White Horse in Hedgerly, but no! A right has us tracking back up through Kelmsly woods, with mutterings of "Wish I hadn't left my torch in the car" to the One Pin -almost another pub, now modern housing. We really enjoy the on-back at the top of the hill.

A left and right through Farnham Common Sports Club, and a sneaky hole in the hedge lead us into Graham's back garden, for drinks and a BBQ. Having quenched our thirst and hunger, and following a very nice speech from Roger, the group departed for the Stag and Hounds, or home as the preference took them.

I am writing this at home, watching the sky light up with lightning, and listening to the rain bouncing, thinking how different the weather would have made this hot humid hash, if this storm had hit just one hour earlier.

Thanks for the Brew and BBQ, and the added interest of an ON OUT instead of an ON INN and the ability to change venue on the night so smoothly, the mark of a cunning Hare.