Date : 18/10/16
Scribe : Helles Belles
Hounds : 35     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.83 km
Recorded time : 110.87 min
Uphillness : 204.17 ft

The last time, and only time, Mr HB and I went to The King & Queen previously was on valentine's day a few years ago – after a long walk from Great Missenden it seemed to be the only pub in Wendover that would offer food and beverages to those in the company of a 4 legged friend, which instantly made in the best pub in town as far as we were concerned!  So we looked forward to visiting again – unfortunately our attempts to get to the hash on time were hampered by a late day in the office, having to administer inhaler 16 puffs to a horse and then the police had closed the road ahead!  Quick text to Jo to make sure the trail would be well marked and off we went on our diverted route.

A google search found the following reason for road closure……………"Tuesday 18 October, 7.02pm
Firefighters were called to make the scene safe after a collision involving two cars, Missenden Road, Great Kingshill. One appliance and crew from High Wycombe attended."

I did get a response from Jo but it only said "Simon didn't br"……………… Simon didn't bridge the gap, Simon didn't branch out, Simon didn't broadly grin??
Anyway we arrived into Wendover just in time to see the last few hashers heading off in the distance so at least we knew which direction to head in.  To our delight we then found clear arrows pointing the way and we soon caught up the walkers.  Quick hug with Jo and then we headed off over the ploughed field to try and catch up with the pack. 
Poppy was very pleased to get to Uncle Ian and tried her hardest to wag madly at him while running.  And we were very pleased to see Arthur with his ear looking beautifully healed and the only evidence of his ordeal being a scar, which gives him that rugged handsome look (we won't mention the missing appendages and the 2nd scar, poor boy) – also lovely to see Jenny of course!
At some point there was a long short split, soon after which the longs were told to regroup for 'some important information' after the foot bridge.  We dutifully huddled by the side of the road as Simon proceeded to tell us that when setting the run he encountered a very big bull, complete with ring in its nose, and a posse of bullock followers.  He assured us that despite their intimidating looks they 'virtually ignored him' and he managed to set the run and escape unscathed.  Somehow this did not seem to reassure us.  I asked if there was an alternative – the response being, yes go back and find the shorts!  So off we set across the field with nervous banter as we scanned every corner for trouble.  We couldn't see any sign of the bull and started to grow in confidence, I then saw the stile on the far side of the field and decided to make a dash for it.  Feeling very happy to have escaped alive I started to relax – until Simon explained we weren't going that way and I had to come back into 'bull field'.  Sure enough when we then turned the corner there he was, and Simon was not exaggerating – he was enormous!  With a pack of feisty looking bullocks at his heels.  Never have the hash gone so quiet.  After some (quite a lot of) hesitation the first hashers started to tentatively approach.  I was at the back with herder Matthew (who advised that it was a Hereford bull, apparently a calm breed) and Aaron which gave some comfort but have to admit to being proper scared (and very thankful that Jo wasn't with us!).  Back at the pub Matthew admitted that even he was a bit worried about the bull – thank the lord he didn't tell me at the time!
So basically the hash was a load of bull but we lived to tell the tale and hash another day J.  Other news from the evening……

THE HARE ACTUALLY TOLD THE TRUTH when he told Sarah there were no hills and no shiggy, will this level of honesty catch on I wonder?
ROGER BOUGHT EMERGENCY FLOUR to ensure the trail was marked for us late comers, we are eternally grateful and very much appreciate his chivalrous action
ROB STOLE THE MAP AND RAN OFF, apparently a regular occurrence on the short – is he trying to make them break in to a run?
SHERPA MAN OFFERS ASSISTANCE TO WALKERS, a man with a large stick at the pub
GRAHAM, KEN & JO TALKED KNEE OPS, wonder if they persuade Jo to try one?
FREITH HILLY PRIZE A WASH OUT, Simon advised that the water bottle gift was a bit of a damp squib after a soggy run
IAN WAS FOUND TO BE INTELLIGENT, by not waiting to go through a gate when there was a big hole in the adjacent fence
All in all a very pleasant evening, good chip offering, no death by bull, and a much needed beer.  A success in my humble opinion.  Well done Simon & Louise.