Date : 23/05/17
Hare : Cockers
Scribe : BigFoot
Hounds : 34     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.19 km
Recorded time : 79.25 min
Uphillness : 769.90 ft

The sun was out when I left home last Tuesday, and with no pushchair in the boot, and no passengers to complain about getting blown away (you know who you are!), it seemed like an excellent excuse to put the roof down for a quick blast up the A40 to Stokenchurch. A busy day at work had left me craving something loud on the stereo, and so The Stone Roses was chosen - a decision that may have hastened my arrival at The Royal Oak.

Ian said some things at the beginning that I can’t really remember, but I’d snuck a look at his Strava feed earlier in the day, so felt well prepared. Well prepared, but unmotivated, as I sat yawning in the sun on one of the benches out the front of the pub. It took a cry of “on-on” from my right to get me on my feet, as the hash set off round the green and over the A40.

Narrowly avoiding a cricket game, we headed over the motorway on a foot bridge, and off into the countryside. Ant - as usual - started goading me into running unnecessary on backs, before we emerged to cross back over the M40 on the road to Christmas Common (Google Maps doesn’t seem to think it has a name). After the long/medium-short split we headed up a narrow lane to a spot that, I was earnestly assured by Kev, is frequented by some of the more voyeuristic motorists from the Stokenchurch area. Quite how he knew so much I didn't like to ask...

Through some more woods, and back across the A40 for a medium get-out along the road. The longs then headed down Kingston Hill and down the tracks that lead along the valley (you know, the one from the time Kev got lost and turned the hash around three times!). This invariably meant a hill back up to the pub, with a few more on-backs (some mandatory, some to keep myself entertained), before coming back into Stokenchurch along Park Lane.

It was a lovely evening for sitting outside the pub, made all the better by being out of earshot for Roger's speech (though he insisted on coming outside to give us an abridged version). There may also have been a t-shirt I didn't understand - my memory's getting a bit hazy - but I do remember some sandwiches appearing, and I've since heard rumours of other delicious food that never made it outside. Thanks Ian for a great run - I'm still waiting for my samosa...!

My joke...

Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree...?
A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree...?
A: Because it was tied to the first squirrel.

Q: Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree...?
A: Because it thought it was a game.

Q: Why did the fridge fall out of the tree...?
A: Because it thought it was a squirrel.