Date : 08/05/18
Scribe : Budgie
Hounds : 37     Dogs : 2
Recorded distance : 11.76 km
Recorded time : 85.60 min
Uphillness : 2195.00 ft

After a beautifully sunny Bank Holiday weekend, who could think of anything better than going for a gentle stroll in the Chilterns on a Tuesday night?

After two quite… err… long long routes in the last couple of weeks (yes, yes… fully aware we were responsible for one of those runs) surely we would be graced with a sensible length run? Happily the hares told us that we were in for a treat: a short run of about 3 miles and long run of say, 5 - 5½ miles… maybe 6 miles… but certainly less than 14km (love the change of scale!). Anyway we were promised a decent length run, with some gentle inclines - but not so much - good flour (having been set on the Bank Holiday), mostly on the right, as ever, holes (not Helles) marked with an H, and some shiggy.

And so we were off out of the strangely empty car park of the Le De Spencer Arms and left onto the track where a good percentage of the hashers had parked (well that could explain the mystery of the slightly empty car park). Not long after Hector’s obligatory pit-stop (!!!) Acting GM Sooper reminded Yours Truly that it was customary for the previous week’s hare to précis the current week’s hash. “Oh yes, of course, that’s no problem! We went for a run, drank some beer and ate some chips, that’ll do, right?” “Yeah, that’ll be fine. Or you could reuse one of your old write-ups. No one ever reads them anyway. The only reason people took the trash was for the jokes and we don’t do those any more.”

Ah well, it’ll be fine, I reckon I can crib the run using that Relive site that Matt… err Scribbler and Zorro post on. Oh bugger, no-one posted the run using that! Never mind, I’ll just look on the GPS and I’ll be able to sound knowledgeable about the fact that we tracked pretty much north to Naphill before arcing to the east across the Hughenden Valley to Cryers Hill. Then we headed south to Hughenden proper where we were greeted by the pealing of bells. A gentle run past the ice house before I had to relent and turn on my torch for the last section. (I was hoping for the first torch-free run of the year.)

So that’s the functional description of the run done, but there were loads of interesting facts to add about the run, like:

  • The lovely view (bugger, someone posted photos of it on FB);
  • That the Acting GM photobombed without missing a step (hmm, that was posted too);
  • Oooh I know, we went past a cat hotel (posted) with giraffe in the driveway (woohoo… not posted!);
  • Jo patted some cute calves who were happily the right side of the fence (posted), but demurred  when it came to more grown-up cows on our side of the fence - as an aside I think taurophobic sounds nicer;
  • Whipping Boy, for reasons best known to himself (unless you can help, Louise??) decided to wear a rather fetching feather outfit. OK, OK it was just a feather in the strap of his head torch, but still not sure why it was there;
  • The Parkrun Run Director from Wycombe did come out with us and confirmed we could mark the course with flour (posted). See you all on the 19th… we need to be there about 8:00am, by the way;
  • According to the shorts the group of people outside Hughenden Church were artists, but by the time the longs arrived their easels had been packed away.

Anyway, once back at the pub we were treated to chips, onion rings and buttered bread to help with the rather nice Butcombe. But before we knew it, Butcombe there was none, nor Seafarer, nor ESB and we were left with London Pride at a steepish $4.05 per pint (well that’s what I was charged anyway).

But thanks to Oompa Loompa and Nice Butt for a very pleasant summer hash (disappointingly mud-free given the briefing) where we went for a run, drank some beer and ate some chips.


I can’t tell you how good it felt when my smart @rse nephew couldn’t spell schadenfreude

When I had a phone call telling me I might have PPI I went straight to the GP because I’d been to the lido without wearing goggles

I ended up watching a documentary about shipbuilding the other day - it was riveting