Date : 15/05/18
Hare : Wing Co
Scribe : Nice Butt
Hounds : 38     Dogs : 3
Recorded distance : 10.13 km
Recorded time : 80.22 min
Uphillness : 1181.00 ft

We gathered in the car park of the Three Horseshoes near Marlow Bottom on a beautiful summer’s evening. The Wing Commander, our honourable hare Zebedee declared that the hash would be both long and short and up and down. Also adding that it would be set in an unorthodox manner on the left?

We set off in fair weather and that’s as far as our luck held out. To avoid casualties on the race track that is the back road to Marlow, Zebedee very kindly pointed us in the right direction over the road and across the field. At the far side of the field we then hopped over the style and entered the twilight zone. The majority of the hash crossed safely through to the other side and took a sharp left down to the village of Marlow’s Bottom. Unbeknownst to us Speedbump and Bigfoot were hot on our heels but didn’t fare so well in the twilight zone. Due to a combination of some particularly sketchy arrow marking and the aforementioned marking on the left the FRB’s took a sharp right. They must have thought the hash was getting an unusual wriggle on as they raced to catch us up but eventually they realised their error when they came across NO NI (see below) marked on the trail.

The rest of us were merrily trotting along the valley out of Marlow Bottom enjoying the light dappling through the beech forests. There appeared to be a theme running through the on backs and our hare seemed to be obsessed with the number 7. Various ideas were banded around. Was it that our hare was a lovechild of Len from Strictly. Does he have achondroplasiaphilia (love of dwarfs)? Was it something to do with creationism? When I asked for clarification he told me it was the most flour economical number. It was suggested he could try a 1 but we agreed this does not make for a very sociable on back.

As we neared Booker and turned back in the direction of the pub we may have been enlightened as to the true reason why Zebedee using the number 7 quite so much?

We passed 7 beautiful Buddhist shrines hidden in Hollyhill Woods. These stupas had been hand built by Tina Choules who lived a simple, self-sufficient way of life in the house in the woods with no electricity, television or washing machine.

The stupa consists of five geometrical shapes representing the five elements. Firstly, at the bottom the cube representing the earth. Then on top of this the sphere representing water, then the cone as fire. Above this the inverted hemisphere representing air and lastly, at the very top, the flaming drop representing space.In Buddhism, seven is the number of ascent, and Buddha is said to have walked this number of steps at his birth. Walking seven steps is a metaphor for the Seven Factors of Enlightenment which can all usually be found at some point during a Tuesday evening hash:

  • Mindfulness - to maintain awareness of reality
  • Investigation of the nature of reality
  • Energy also determination
  • Joy or rapture
  • Relaxation or tranquillity of both body and mind
  • Concentration, a calm, one-pointed state of concentration of mind, or clear awareness
  • Equanimity. To accept reality as-it-is without craving or aversion. Stillness of mind

Zebedee then continued his theme of flour economy with a welcoming ON IN marked before the long gentle descent back down towards Marlow Bottom and the twilight zone. It then swallowed up a few more victims most notably Kitty and her friend [not Bridget - Ed] seemingly disappearing into the darkening woods. The girls emerged unscathed and we were relieved to see their head torches bobbing back across the field.

To round off a cracking hash our hare had even arranged a barrel of his namesake, the particularly drinkable Rebellion Zebedee, behind the bar.
We all fondly welcomed back the dulcet tones of our GM who duly awarded Truly Scrumptious the honour of being the ‘tick teaser’ for the shorts. Other things were mentioned and I’m not sure many of us were enlightened but it was safe to say that most of us were in a stupor by the time the GM had finished.

Some jokes about Marlow bottom, well mainly just bottoms

  • Which side do bums always want to be on? 
The back side
  • What do you get if you swallow uranium? 
A nuclear bum
  • Why did the man carry a bottom into the elevator? 
He was bringing up the rear