Date : 26/02/19
Scribe : Hawkeye
Hounds : 34     Dogs : 3
Recorded distance : 9.81 km
Recorded time : 85.77 min
Uphillness : 1226.00 ft

It was one of those weird hashes, where everything started quite well for a change. For a start, if the sun had been around, you would have thought it was a nice balmy June day, shirt sleeve was definitely the order of the day. Secondly, on arrival at Wheeler End, there was the usual line of hasher’s cars parked along the road as we approached the pub. This usually indicates that the pub car park is full, so was resigned to finding a spot somewhere miles away. But no, the GM, acting as CPA, starts waving frantically in the middle of the road outside the pub, and directs me to an empty car park at the back. As even Jonesy was parked on the road, why would the Hash confer VIP status on Crazy and Hawkeye? I think not, and I can’t figure it out.

What about the run? If you look at the map, keeping to the same theme as last week’s Aardvark run, the diving cormorant would be the nearest description. It was a run of 2 halves really. Someone found a ball, which was kicked around randomly for 45 mins, and then kicked around randomly for another 45 mins. A bit like Wycombe Wanderers, or the England Rugby team last Saturday. During these attempts at football, Moose managed to “pass” the ball to a “field”, with a triple barbed wire fence. Did he limbo under the fence to retrieve it?

Apparently, we passed no less than 4 hasher’s abodes during this run, which must be another record for this week. I got no replies to numerous requests for events on the run, so apart from the undulations, I can only conclude it was pretty mundane.

However, there was a lot going on in the pub afterwards. The shorts were getting stuck into the chips and onion rings, and as it was Jonesy’s birthday, we piled on more calories with brownies and flapjacks. Roger produced yet another box of Celebrations from his never ending supply, and another first - the hash had become a forum for flogging unwanted tat. Spy managed to offload his huge print of Venice to John, who will give it pride of place at the school, thereby providing another excellent canvas for more graffiti.

Now to the beer, something dear to my heart as you know! I noticed that although the pub will continue to be owned by Fuller, Smith and Turner, the beer will soon be produced by that well known conglomerate in Tokyo, who also own Peloni lager, Italy’s favourite. Thinking that the barman must have been briefed on the new names for the beer, I asked for a pint of Excel Speshar Brittle. He didn’t understand this, so I asked him if the Fuller’s staple would now be called Run Down Plied. This also didn’t go down too well. Did he know if they were going to change the name of the brewery? He couldn’t answer this either. Suffice to say, when you are next in Chiswick, look out for the sign on those magnificent wrought iron gates. It might just say “Furrels Blualey”.

Finally, thanks Aud for an audsome run, complete with delicious chips.