Date : 23/04/19
Hare : Waldorf
Scribe : Moose
Venue : The Red Lion
Hounds : 44     Dogs : 2
Recorded distance : 10.34 km
Recorded time : 85.80 min
Uphillness : 1240.00 ft

I am the proud owner of a classic Mini, which—to my shame—was left to rot for good few years unloved on our driveway, while its garage was filled with my children’s furniture and other assorted stuff. Last autumn it was decided that with a now-empty garage, something should be done about getting it back on the road, or selling what’s left of it. So as the winter went by, work progressed: The brakes were loosened off, the seized clutch unseized (that was a job-and-a-half, let me tell you!), new exhaust, petrol tank drained, and fresh petrol put back. Oil the engine, new gaskets, and so it went on, until with a new MOT, it was ready for the road, yippee! A running and driving classic Mini, just in time for the 60th anniversary.

So, with the hash in Beaconsfield, I thought I’d give it a run out, best to keep the old girl moving. Well, what a shocker that was, the roads in Beacy are dreadful, they're the sort of roads that are usually found in Third World [Developing World these days - Ed.] countries, lined with tin shacks and mud huts, not £2 million houses with 50 grand cars parked in the drive. It’s a real experience in a car with low profile tyres and a quarter of an inch of travel in the suspension. Arrived at hash with loose teeth, rattling eyeballs, and a sore back. [Same as most weeks then - Ed.]

Well, well, well, it’s Tuesday evening and it’s not raining, good start. Mick was in good voice and soon got the whole thing kicked off. The trails were long and dry, and a joy to run on, until we came to a very dangerous road. Wow, an understatement if ever there was one, I honestly thought that we were about to be a vet short in future, a very near miss with a car. Some bint was taking no prisoners, didn’t slow down when she saw the Hash crossing in front of her car, had plenty of time to slow down, all we got was a honk on the horn, and a "get out of my way!" Just what is wrong with people? The worrying thing was that we had to cross the road again, a bit further up - how many would we loose? Thankfully no one.

Just as well no one was hospitalised, as we needed everyone to man the pumps and try and get through the amount of chips that was served up. Loads and loads and loads. Mr Chips thought, at last a decent portion, and so what’s everybody else having? They looked wonderful all served up with plates, napkins, and forks. Well, this is Beaconsfield after all!!

Oh, almost forgot, the Hash. Very nice. Hey Mick, that Hash wasn’t half bad...