Date : 07/05/19
Hare : Spy
Scribe : Budgie
Hounds : 30     Dogs : 2
Recorded distance : 9.52 km
Recorded time : 95.57 min
Uphillness : 462.71 ft

And so it was on a very ordinary Tuesday night in May that some  quite extra-ordinary things happened. Despite only being a week and half away from opening night of The Ladykillers. Alex this is meant to be hash write up!!  I'm still not quite sure how the sequence of events started but I managed to get out of the office quick  enough to catch the early train home. That in turn meant I could get changed and pick up Alan and Graham. Google had told me, earlier in the day, that it should take me 28 mins to get from FC to Heronsgate (and probably a couple of minutes longer in the evening), so by the looks of things we'd not be getting there early  enough not to miss the pre-hash briefing, that might contain unusual and potentially useful information like, ohh, I don't know there would be no onbacks for the longs (oops!). But somehow things didn't play out quite like that, the journey time took about 10 mins less than advertised. A wormhole in the ball of timey-wimey stuff in the environs of the M25  maybe?

Anyway, so there we were, at the  Land of Liberty, Peace and Plenty an unprecedented (for me) 15 mins early. That meant I found a car park with plenty of space in it, and despite the polite request of the landlord I made an executive decision that there were enough spaces that I could safely park there. So while we were standing around swatting away gnats and telling hashers about the forthcoming production of Graham Linehan's adaptation of the The Ladykillers ... ALEX, hash report! So while were standing around swatting away gnats, agreeing Moose's attendance record was unlikely to be under threat, and admiring a curiously placed bbq, suddenly the GM's whistle called us to attention. If only I'd paid attention I might have heard Roger calling for volunteer scribes while if Roger was paying attention he might have realised I was merely, merely ... err swatting away gnats. And that's how I found myself being scribe for the week.

With Spy's warning words of having to cross a very fast road, prompting jokes about going over the M25, we were on our way. After a short run back toward the motorway (are you sure we're not crossing the M25?), we turned left along a pleasant foot path for our 6 mile long route or 3 and bit mile short route). After a short run through some light woods we quickly turn leftish and headed on our way. Moose was flummoxed by someone having the temerity to enquire as to his well being ( "Hi Ade, how are you?" ) and could only respond with "What?!!"; another mystery to add to the list I say!

After some of the more challenging terrains we've run on recently, it was a very pleasant hash and with all the talk about how rehearsal for The Ladykillers, in Stoke Poges Village Centre was going Alex! Stop spruiking your play! we were at the long short split in no time at all. I believe Spy had a cunning plan to get the shorts checking by not providing them a map, however, he had the longs stumped by a doubled headed arrow. We all just stopped and stared, until we were told it meant we could go either way. So we dutifully, and confidently, split into two groups for about ..... oooh ... 20 metres when someone said, "When he said it meant we could go either way, does that mean it was a two way check?" Having seen no flour we decided that was indeed the case and therefore the other group was on the right track. We cut across the golf course as we still had a 'fairway' to go but once we caught up to the other group we turned right and headed back in the direction we took at the double-headed arrow. 

As we trotted along discussing many and varied a topic like .. Ohhh The Ladykillers for three performances only on the 16th, 17th and 18th of May ..ALEX!!! HASH!, we crossed through Chorleywood Common and duly found our fast road to be the A404 and not the M25 after all, and we ended up crossing it a couple of times. We then, tantalisingly, ran past (but did not stop at) The Black Horse on the edge of the Common. I am assured it is an exceedingly good public house, but sadly outside our ten mile limit of territorial territories.

Now something else odd happened, suddenly our check marks had been kicked out for us? It does seem unlikely but could it possibly be that shorts had been checking and kicking out? Or perhaps there was a more likely explanation. Who know, for me it remains  mystery. As we headed back Charlotte, who was thrilled we were hashing from a pub just around the corner from her dad's place, commented how strange it is that you know so little about the geography of a place that you visit often, outside of the immediate areas you go to. Just then we popped out of some woods and Charlotte said "Ohhhh I know exactly where we are, you just cross this field turn left then right and you are back at the pub".

And foretold by Charlotte, soon  the ONNNN INNNNN was Spy'ed but quickly  followed by a mystery on back. Confusion and consternation for a few, until it was pointed out that  we had just doubled back over  that early left turn! Back at the pub, it turns out that BBQ was for us and a jolly nice thing it was too with BBQ'ed sausages and halloumi for all (including a few that dusty ones for the hounds' hounds) thanks to an entire intelligence agency of spies.

Of course chat at the pub was dominated by my upcoming  appearance in The Ladykillers, including some rather cruel remarks about looking like a serial killer, just because there was a hint of originality about my costume And also, it's worth noting that there are two very reasonably price bars there including one right in the auditorium ... Alright, you can tell us about your play now Alex.

Stoke Poges Players
proudly present a production of
Graham Linehan's Adaptation of
the classic Ealing Comedy

The Ladykillers

Stoke Poges Village Centre
Rogers Lane
Stoke Poges
16th, 17th and 18th of May

Doors Open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 7:30 pm

Tickets available at the door or www.stokepogesplayers.org