Date : 21/05/19
Hare : Rocky Road , Dave
Scribe : Conehead
Venue : The Red Lion
Hounds : 51     Dogs : 5
Recorded distance : 10.76 km
Recorded time : 94.08 min
Uphillness : 1455.00 ft

As last time we hashed past the Red Lion it appeared closed. It was good to see a number of patrons taking in the sun and looking bemused at the arrival of the hashing horde.

Many hashers seemed confused as to where we were to congregate spreading themselves from the Pub front to the far distance around the pond requiring one of GM’s subtle hails of HASHERS OVER HERE! to bring us all together for Introductions to 2 virgins and a visitor from the BITCH3 hash (The Bahrain Independent Trail Chasers Hash House Harriers ) and Rocky roads instructions on the hash the most important of which was to the FRB’S, to not leave her behind as she was going long.

Anyway, we were soon checking it out and to the surprise of many of us headed down the road and across the common with comments of ‘well I didn’t expect to be going this way’ to be heard. Crossing the common was delightful in the warm sun with avenue like paths through the lime trees making ease for the on backs. It was at this point Rodger reminded me I was doing the writeup and panic mode set in, realising I should have been taking more notice of what had been happening, and brought a notepad and pencil for note taking but I then remembered one meaning of hash is ‘a mixture of jumbled incongruous things; a mess.’ (I looked that up) so it really didn’t matter and as it was such a lovely day soon forgot about it altogether.

I did at this point notice the visitor instead of being in skimpy T shirt or vest as the weather dictated. still had on a thick fleece and on questioning him about it found he was used to hashing in 40 degrees and 90 % humidity so it still felt like winter to him.

Unfortunately the joys of wide open paths were soon to end and soon we were plunged into a narrow uneven crevice causing what I am calling aaahashque. Especially when, ‘ring a ring a roses, a pocket full of poses, aaahashque aaahashque (not seeing a worn down fence post) Hawkeye fell down’. Luckily, he picked himself out of the vegetation and we headed out into some lovely grassy fields.

We strung out in open aaahashque (1) formation bringing forth the comment of ‘ well I have never seen that many people crossing this field in all the 8 years I have been walking my dog here’ from a passer-by and very likely it will be the last as we learned later that the field is earmarked as one or the sites for the ever expanding Wycombe. God help us and all that use the A40 through Loudwater.

The open vista was soon to end and we were plunged into another narrow path and impenetrable aaahashque for the FRB’S to on back (some comments heard near the tail end at this time were ‘Oh did you see that I almost ran 5 meters’ and a lot of vociferous ‘Oh For f*&%$£ Sake interspersed with 4 (and 6) BACK, 4 BACK, 4 BBAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK **&%$£’ Etc.

Luckily we eventually reached the long short split and the banter with the longs (not sure where the shorts went even though Barney gave me map that, being in a hash I subsequently lost ) returned to its usual r u?, checking and on onnnnn although passing the Royal Standard of Great Briton some of the FRB’s did hear a distant 6 back but being FRB’S ignored it.

We were then on our way back (keeping one eye behind ,probably ,to check Maggie was not too far behind) and On Inn refusing the temptation to stop and lust over the cars in Slades Garage we were back to a very warm bar that definitely had a hashmustphere if you popped out and back in. To nice cool beer, iced soda and lime, chips and rhubarb

A well done from Roger to Maggie and those ancient ones now raised to the eminent position of Grandad.

Here is a recipe to go with any rhubarb that may be left (mine has gone very limp this week)

You can get good quality forced rhubarb almost all year round- but as the early signs of spring begin to appear, so does fantastic English hash rhubarb! The key here is cooking the topping and rhubarb separately- then building the crumble to cook! It’s certainly a dish that’s going to wow your friends and family!

For the crumble topping:
250g Cold, diced, unsalted butter
250g Demerara Sugar
250g Plain Flour
250g Ground Almonds
1 Orange Zest
1 Vanilla Pod, split
1 Egg
For the roasted rhubarb:
1kg Rhubarb, cut into 5cm batons
1 Orange, zest and juice, (plus the juice form the crumble orange)
5tbsp Honey
½ Cap Vanilla Essence
40g Demerara Sugar

For this recipe you will firstly need to fire up your oven to its optimum temperature, then allow the oven to cool to 180°c-200°c. However, you will need a slightly hotter environment for cooking the finished crumble.

To make the crumble topping, rub together all the topping ingredients except the egg, until a crumb consistency is achieved.

Mix the egg in with a fork, and lay the mixture on a lined baking tray. Bake for around 25 minutes, removing from the oven every 5 minutes to mix and break up with a wooden spoon.

Once done, cool, and store in an airtight container- this recipe makes a lot, but it keeps for a long time and is great sprinkled on ice creams, pancakes or any dessert!
To roast the rhubarb, put all ingredients except the sugar in a roasting tray, cover with foil and roast for 25-30 minutes.

To build the crumble, simply fill a serving dish with the roasted rhubarb and juices and top with the crumble topping and bake until golden brown.

A 'Joke'

What do you get if you put row of hares in a lift?
A rising hair line.

1. Aaahashcue - A long line of hashers.
2. Hashmustphere - The strange ambiance given off by a group of post hash hashers.