Date : 19/11/19
Hare : Cartwheel , Budgie
Scribe : Hawkeye
Venue : The Falcon
Hounds : 34     Dogs : 3
Recorded distance : 10.97 km
Recorded time : 99.88 min
Uphillness : 1176.34 ft

As we approached the Falcon pub for this week’s hash, I had already agreed a deal with my mind, and had negotiated the write-up. It was “Oven Ready” to print, with tales of the odd moose, to spice up what was expected to be a pretty straight forward hash.

After managing to shoehorn as many cars into the car park as possible, Roger called the hash together and Budgie the hare started his preamble. The long’s was about 9 and the short’s about 6. Luckily he confirmed this was Kms not miles. The flour was laid yesterday, so should be OK to pick up. Oh, and at one point there will be crosses. These crosses must not be crossed by either the longs or the shorts, otherwise they will get lost. So far so good, off we went.

It was only about 2 mins into the run, when the hash contrived to frustrate the contents of my write-up. I was going to have ask my mind for an extension, and re-negotiate the whole thing. Why? Because before we knew it, we had lost 50% of the hounds. Apparently, just round the corner from the pub, one of the FRBs missed seeing flour within 10 feet of a check, and headed off towards what we now know was the on-inn, and seeing flour, called on-on. Eventually they came back after seeing an upside down 4, already having completed 400m of the hash in reverse.

Talking about reverse, after crossing the main road just short of the M40 near Holtspur, we found ourselves on familiar ground. For the next 3 miles or so, the trail was more or less last week’s hash in reverse. Unfortunately the hash started getting very spread out, and at the corner on Lillyfee Farm Lane, a re-group was missed, and the longs took off in one direction, and a very spread out group of shorts carried on down the lane.

The hash seemed to come together again along the lane with longs and the shorts running parallel with each other. This is where the crosses came into play, and where I decided to join the shorts, and left the longs to do an extra loop. Apparently, at some point on this loop, Hells Bells actually moosed. She concentrated too long on avoiding a low branch, forgetting to heed a log waiting to trip her up.

After joining some of the shorts, we believed the hare was ahead of us, so hurried to catch him up. It wasn’t until we emerged from the woods going down into Wooburn Green, that the shorts mysteriously came back together, and we realised that the hare and other hashers had been behind us all along.

At some point we lost another 2 hashers. I am not sure when or where this happened, but they apparently found a combination of this week’s and last week’s flour. Fortunately they made their way back to pub safely.

Back in the pub, we all sang happy birthday to Dave and Isabel, and tucked into chips, rocky road, and a huge chocolate cake. Thanks to Budgie for a great hash, that was well laid out. Sometimes the best laid plans……..


A man told a friend about taking his wife to dinner for their anniversary. He described how the food was made in front of them. The friend said, “I’ve heard of places like that, what is the name of the restaurant?” The man replied, “Subway.”

My neighbour texted me, “I just made synonym buns!” I texted back, “You mean like grammar use to make?”
I haven’t heard from her since.

Saw a sign for a restaurant in High Wycombe

“Our steaks are bigger than a South Bucks pothole.”