Silly Hats Hash
Date : 07/01/20
Hare : Conehead , Luke
Scribe : General Menace
Hounds : 47     Dogs : 4
Recorded distance : 10.45 km
Recorded time : 105.88 min
Uphillness : 1247.29 ft

The White Lion, eh. The last time that I remember running from there was so long ago that I can’t remember anything other than Moose was the Hare. The Hash records seem to back me up on this. Plenty of other White things or coloured Lions, but not this combination. [ed - last time we were here was 2007 and Ade was indeed the Hare]

We had a double-headed hare pairing on this occasion and a theme, HWH6. It was going to be HWH7 which has horrible, hirsute, hughenden, hats as the ending, but in the interests of social inclusion (me), the “hirsute” was cropped.

Lead hare was conehead, wearing, you’ve guessed it, a knitted cone. Legend has it that Conehead was found, as a babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes inside a traffic cone, by a pack of wolves, who subsequently raised him. The only evidence to support this theory is his tendency to bare his teeth, and growl, if you try and take his cone away from him.

The hare cub was Luke.

Parking was at a premium, given our numbers, but we squeezed in somehow.

Many and various were the hats on show. Village people, eat your hearts out. We had bigger, and better, hard hats aplenty, with the pose and poise to match.

We sped off for all of 50m down by the side of the Post Office, then slid to a halt.

The sliding continued all the way to Piper’s Corner (Mr Eager can tell you the fees). Did I omit to say, in the prologue, that rain had transformed the mud to liquid. Apologies for that.

According to SatNav, we went off piste for a while, going through Gomm’s Wood, but Boss Lane was OK though, marred only by its being a stream bed, full of flotsam and stuff.

Before we could get to the Keats’ Hotel, the trail took us left up H55. As you all know, this is one of the steepest paths in Bucks. Difficult in the dry, wicked in the wet.

The pub might have been visible, as we crossed the Prestwood Road, but, as we are hard (ish) we took the longer route (H56) down and towards Hughenden Manor Lodge. As you all know, this is one of the most dangerous paths in Bucks. Difficult in the dry, wicked in the wet, stupid when you are wearing a Santa on your head. I was so busy staring at the ground to avoid roots and badger burrows, that I couldn’t see the low hanging branches that were set just so. Bang, bang, bang went Santa’s head. Off, off, off went my head torch.

Left up Church Lane, which is one of the nicest paths in Bucks to cycle down in the dry. Wicked to walk up in the wet. Part way up we bade au revoir to the longs, who appear to have wiggled their way within Millfield Wood, to within an inch of their lives. Looks like a run to die for.

Peeps commented, as we passed by, on the elegant house to our left. Well, it’s Brand’s House.

Crossing Terriers Road is difficult in the day, but OK at night. More to point, we all survived its crossing (longs and mediums), and collectively we all passed through Cockshoot Wood.

I will confess that the map readers resorted to reading the map, but to no avail. A bit of local knowledge now came in handy, so we found the trail again, just as we were meant to.

We skipped the medium/long detour, as it looked too flat and easy, and made our way directly to the pub.

The landladies were delighted to see us as we squeezed into the snug. The dart’s room was out of bounds, because it was match night. Unluckily, the members of the Rotary Club, who are too old to be in the Rotary Club, were holding their regular 6 weekly meeting. I wonder what they made of us, as the temperature and humidity in the pub rose to sauna levels.

The landladies explained that they used to do food, but there was too much competition, and too costly, so they stopped.

Knowing this, Conehead, cub and cub mother had brought along some treats in boxes that we wolfed down, much to Conehead’s delight.

Thank you hares, for taking me down memory lane with the trail you set. I have missed it so.

It was going to be Tosca night, but I will save that for another day.

Two T shirts were awarded to two very worthy fellows. Ron for 300 and Rob for 400 runs. More to follow next time.