51 years, 2 months, 5 days
Date : 23/11/21
Scribe : General Menace
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.22 km
Recorded time : 87.75 min
Uphillness : 178.94 ft
Extra pre-hash info

According to the hare the long is just over 5 miles and the short a tad over 3 miles (ymmv).

For those visual types we have the classic pdf of a map with some lines on showing both long and short routes:

PDF map

And for those modern types who know what a GPX file is we have separate files for the long and short:

GPX file Long

GPX file Short

Weather. Clear but cold. More goose bumps than geese in a factory farm.

There was a marquee specially erected to limit social mobility (pub regulars and hashers) after Gerry warned of overwhelming numbers.

Long/short split right outside the pub. Just kidding. It was 50m down the road.

22 went long, right. 7 long suffering soles (strictly 14) went short straight on.

Both trails re-joined at the other end of Wheeler End, near to the old Brickmakers Arms (now renamed Hikers and Bikers). Have a look on Google street view. A very funky (nay spooky) upstairs window!

Hash hush and lights out going through the stables. We didn’t want to wake the horses but they looked pretty wide awake to me. I’ll swear that one asked after Helen.

Mayhem further on. Not only did short Ken run the wrong side of the hedge but long Moose did the same thing, with the same result. Both found there was no outlet, so both had to on back (against the prevailing gravity). At vote.hope.reporters the hare demonstrated that two wrongs really DO make a right. The longs saw lights to the left (the shorts). The hare said, no you didn’t, you’re wrong. Then he lied (another wrong), pointed up the hill, which was right.

In the words of a Kiwi, “It was great to finally see the implementation of a false trail in the wild - something I had heard tell of, but never seen in real life.”

And when they realised their folly, they committed another, “I think Ant will remember the Never ending hill of multiple on backs that he ran at least three, and possibly 4 times”. So there were at least two happy hashers. Then, by following Audrey’s lead we found that “the Long and short were beautifully proportioned so that everyone came together sublimely to finish off together.” Except for Rebecca, who said she was last.

Birthday. Matt’s 60th. Rozie brought in a huge cake with a candle lit “60” on top. Matt was very quick to blow them out. That doesn’t help. The years are still there, on the clock of life. “It was great to celebrate Doormat's birthday, but a shame to see him getting old and feeble as there was at least one occasion that he 'accidentally' dropped his torch when he found himself at the front approaching an on back, and had to stop and retrieve it.” Thanks Liam.When a man’s on the floor you certainly know how to wipe him some more.

Thank you ISGH. A thought for the day, courtesy of Jacinda’s most ardent fan and his flightless Belle Amie.
"Things turn out the best for people who make the best of the way things turn out." -John Wooden/ Art Linkletter