Hashes

1611

Date : 14/12/21
Hare : Budgie
Scribe :
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 11.02 km
Recorded time : 105.93 min
Uphillness : 101.66 ft
Extra pre-hash info

Catering options will be restricted to crisps and nuts!

Weather was as fair as one could reasonably hope for at this time of year.

In fact, so mild that some of us had to start strip off part way round to avoid steaming to death.

The initial omens were not good.

The public car park ticket machine had the lurgy and would not accept any payment even with 15 minutes to go before free parking.

Then the omens changed for the better.

Scouts reported that the pub car park was empty so we all scarpered over there.

There were 27 hare and hounds this week which included the shorts who had gone earlier. A big improvement on last week.

The omens turned once more.

The hare confessed that part of the trail was unnavigable and unmarked. Which meant that part of the run would have a live hare.

The omens turned again, for the worse. The run with workaround was going to be longer. Wibble-wobble miles, or words to that effect.

The long/short split was right outside the pub but was unnecessary as everyone was an L.

East towards the wild woods of Burnham Beeches and our first stop at an “AO” sign. Alex’s ‘ouse.

We knocked up Denise who seemed very happy with the experience when she made it to the door. Less so the cat, who stared out of an upstairs window at us and glared. Even lesser so, the teenagers in the house who climbed to higher windows than the cat.

Hedgerley Hill proved to be true to its name.

In Stoke Wood, we nearly became heroes.The FRBs chanced upon some distraught parents calling out for “Just William”. As our resident Stoke resident, Steady, was stuffing herself in Turkey, we called upon the next best thing. Namely, our resident Mountain (and Stoke Wood) Rescue Hero, Mr Eager, who set about organising us into a finely honed Search and Rescue team. This proved to be too much for William. 20 baying adults with head torches. He un-lost himself right pronto and sought sanctuary in his parents arms. Proves that if you have a properly trained leader you can wibble-wobble achieve anything.

Victoria Road, 10km and we were back.

Leaving T shirt for Liam who returns to New Zealand sometime whenever Jacinda gives the nod. It was presented earlier than planned to allow for unplanned events.

Hawkeye sat outside, but not alone. Not because he was shunned but because he has his parents staying and definitely needed a drink.

The tosca speech was delivered a week later than planned due to unforeseen winter storms. The lucky recipient was Budgie who made matters worse by saying that the torch he had lost in November was not actually lost, just hiding in Steady’s clothing. If at first you don’t succeed, grope and grope again (in the bag!!).

Thank you Mr Budgie. Excellent run.

And just for our hare.

~
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending to ransack, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No-one there at all, so he goes back to his business. "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a budgie, who pipes up again "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" "So what", says the burglar, "You're only a budgie!" To which the budgie replies "Maybe, but Jesus is a Rottweiler!"

~

Q: Why does a Budgie sleep on one leg?
A: Because if he lifted that leg up too he'd fall over

Two okkers are standing on the edge of a cliff, one has a budgie on each shoulder. The other has a parrot on one shoulder. The first jumps off the cliff and halfway down the budgies fly off, he hits the ground with a thud and is barely alive as he rolls around groaning upon the rocks. The second man jumps off the cliff and half way down the parrot flies off, the man reaches into his jacket and pulls out a shotgun and shoots the parrot just before he lands upon the rocks.

As they both lie there in pain the first man comments “I don’t think much of this Budgie jumping”. The other replies “I don’t think much of this free fall parrot shooting either”.