Date : 04/01/22
Scribe : General Menace
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.42 km
Recorded time : 145.52 min
Uphillness : 752.80 ft
Extra pre-hash info

Here's a few maps for you to download:

Short route

Long route

GPX file

Weather. Cold but not cold enough to freeze the ground. Drat.

Good turnout considering the cold and the probable state of the ground.

Right from the pub, and left into the fields where Jo and Helen kept their horses many moons ago. Then into Common Wood where the hare left us momentarily to edit the trail and the on in.

The wood was as wet and muddy as forecast. That is, ideal hashing weather which encourages the older members to regale the new with tales of Bucks clay and how much it can increase your BMI.

Before we left Common Wood for Penn House, Rio decided that what he really, really needed to do at a check was mount and hump Roux (female). What do they say about dog owners growing to behave like their pets? Answers on a postcard to the police.

Somewhere around here, we noticed that Mia had gone missing. Cause for concern? Then it was said that Lawrence had gone short with her. Does that cancel out the original concern or double it?

Later (in the pub), we found out that Ken had gone missing (short) too. He was rightly miffed that no-one had noticed.

Penn House, Penn Street, Penn Wood. That’s when the real mud kicked in, complete with hidden roots. It was interesting that the ground had nearly frozen, but not quite. This meant that our feet were nearly dry, but not.

On in via the On out.

Thank you to our hare for safely shepherding her flock back to the pub (Ken doesn’t count). It is the female prerogative to decide who she will save and who not.

There should have been a Tosca presentation but the GM said he had run out of time.

This was despite the previous Tosca winner remembering to return it on time. complete with improvement. Tosca now has a head torch with which to navigate between award winners.

Now, some jokes about Covid. If you can’t laugh in the face of grave / great / some / maybe
(delete as suits your understanding) danger, then when can you?

1 Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.

2 Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”

3 Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake

4 My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.

5 Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

6 My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!

7 After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.

8 If I keep stress-eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.

9 Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

10 Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. Then it Dawned on me.

11 Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder.

12 I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

13 The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

14 Since we’re all in quarantine I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on.

15 I’m not talking to myself, I’m having a parent-teacher conference.

16 This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog — we laughed a lot.