Date : 20/10/09
Hare : Rocky Road
Scribe : Helles Belles
Venue : The Squirrel
Hounds : 36     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 0.00 km
Recorded time : 0.00 min
Uphillness : 0.00 ft

I’m sat in the office, resorting to eating remnants of various boxes of cereal for lunch, and thinking what can I do to brighten my day?  I know, I’ll check the hash website and see if the hash report from last week is up yet……………..just as the realisation sets in, oh bum I’ve got to write this weeks trash!!

Despite Gerry’s text last night I have forgotten, again.  The message obviously keeps getting stuck in my internal scam filter as despite talking to Jo about it on the way to the pub I had completely forgotten by the time we started running and spent the first 6 miles of Maggie’s 3, 4, or 5 mile hash racing around and not paying very much attention to where we went or what anyone was doing!  So here’s my best effort…………

First mention has to go to Niffer and the Wycliffe crew who raised their game from glow in the dark bracelets to full luminous warrior paint.  Don’t think there was any reason for the display but it certainly scared the life out of me when one warrior came full pelt towards me in the dark!  And not quite sure what substance they used for their neon glow but Niffer seemed to be enjoying some of the side effects as her giggles could be heard from start to finish, and continued in the pub!

So back to the moment of revelation and remembering I was writing the trash…..I’d nearly run straight into a rather deep water hazard and was thinking it would have been perfect fodder for the trash, reminding me I actually had to write it.  So naturally I loitered around the hazard and waited for an obliging hasher to fall in……unfortunately no one was so accommodating.

Then moaning about lack of content it was pointed out to me, by Matt I believe, that as I was writing the trash I couldn’t even fall back on the staple hash content of snippets of mine & Jo’s dodgy hash conversations.  I did ask for volunteers at this point to provide some entertaining ditties, to which Simon & Jo promised to provide some worthy nonsense…..unfortunately an excess of E numbers from my jelly bean consumption meant I wasn’t able to make my legs hang around long enough to hear any juicy morsels (I seriously advise a full bag of jelly beans before the hash – gives your legs wings J!).

So back to the events of the evening…….Kerry had a very shapely pink bottom which I got to admire several times, Aud agreed to do the London Marathon (well that’s my interpretation and I’m sticking to it!), Ryan explained that he can’t take his driving test until he’s guaranteed to pass as can’t have his parents beating him (not just me that has a competitive family then!) and Mick & Barney revealed how Aud’s musical bottom had led them around Frieth Hilly.  Not sure whether that should be restricted under performance enhancing rules???

Oh, and on one check down a dark woodland path Roger revealed that he was in fact ‘The Bogey Man’, just before he plunged straight into knee deep shiggy, which obviously caused me to laugh heartily until I realised that he’d actually gone the right way and we would all have to negotiate said shiggy, with no escape route.  Thanks Maggie – nice reminder of what’s to come over the winter months!

We continued our run through the paths of Penn Woods and as usual I kept checking in the wrong direction.  At one point I realised the pack had gone off and left me all alone in the dark.  Just as the feelings of rejection were setting in I saw a huddle ahead, thinking they’d noticed my absence and were re-grouping.  But unfortunately no, poor Roz had twisted her ankle – which apparently involved a few four letter words and some cursing about ‘bloody hashing’.  Don’t worry Roz we’ll put it down to the pain ;-)  So the hash then split with Roger and Kevin heroically assisting the wounded Roz to the nearest road, with Des coming to the rescue in his car.  The rest of the pack setting off again through the woods back to the pub, where there was much of the usual banter and an abundance of chips!

Thanks Maggie for a very good hash and of course for the chips.  (Not sure about the advertised long of 5 miles though – I ended up with 8.4 miles!)