Date : 01/07/14
Hare : Keyboard Ken
Scribe : Cockers
Venue : The Swan
Hounds : 25     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 11.65 km
Recorded time : 103.28 min
Uphillness : 497.90 ft

We all met outside the Swan on a perfect summers evening, Roger GM called us all together and handed over to our hare for the evening the Infamous Ken and his historically, hysterically, humorously long hash heritage. With no dogs shouting for a change a simple set of rules where set out by Ken, flour on the right etc... Oops did I say the F word?

There were no virgin hashers this evening but there was a random chap from Thailand or somewhere, more about him later, I'll call him "Thailand Terry" from now on-in.

Four ways were started and after a few minutes all four searchers returned without a sniff of any flour. Ken called on-on straight over the road and off towards the hills. Mmm hills? maybe mountains would be a better word?

Gerry, myself and a few others went off at an electric pace and within half a mile we were being called back as we had missed the flour on a check (us on-backers all looking bemused as we thought there is normally a flour circle at a checkpoint? Who knows?)

We entered an enclosed footpath that lead onto a very random part of the run, through the back gardens of about four houses. This is the point that Ken was asked if he was laying poison in the flour he had set the hash with? Well, makes a change from gypsy markings hey? Off out into the open countryside and the pack were flying along.

Early long-short split had Audra and Kai debating whether to chance another Kenathlon after his last one from the Fleur-de-lis Stokenchurch nearly broke everyone with an 8.5 mile 9.45pm-9.50pm finish, the young kick-boxer said yes so long it was.

Brief info from the shorts said they run up and over the first hill and then came across some Moose looking Deer or Reindeer type creatures, that fact has not been confirmed yet.

Longs started off downhill but that was not to be the case for too long. Have I mentioned flour? No? well there still isn't any to be seen yet.

Whiteleaf Cross has a beautiful view but hey we weren't looking at that as we were all looking for somewhere to yack up after the climb, boy that's a hill, luckily still no flour therefore no on-backs.

Well what goes up must come down so off we trotted down the side of the mountain we had just scaled. By this time I had worked out that if you stayed behind Ken then the route was marked out very nicely indeed and took a lot of the guessing out of the direction.

Back down to a road and straight over to the foot of another hill, this was the last time we saw Thailand Terry I think he had had enough of the hills already. It took us till we had made it to the top of this next hill to realise we had lost Thailand Terry, so we had a little confab about our loss which went a little like this;

Me: "I think we have lost someone?"
Ant: "Yep - should we all go back and look for him?"
Roger: "Did he say he was leaving us at the road?"
Simon: "Well it is a Kenathlon and we always lose a few!"
Ken: "Only one? That's not bad at all, I lost 60% on a Bash I set a while back, only 1 is fine."
Naomi (now looking fairly concerned): "Can I just point out that I will NEVER go off without telling someone so please come back and find me if I am lost!!!"

By the time we had all stopped discussing our mislaid man we had gone over the top of the second mountain and couldn't possibly go back to look so we followed Ken and his flour bottle down the other side. At the bottom of this mountain Thailand Terry reappeared so all was good there.

Mountain number three was only a small one and by this time we had all got our crampons working well so the ascent was swift. At the top Ant went right, but luckily Matt was close by and told him that if he carried on that way then he would be shot by men in black suits! (Chequers' perimeter). Out of the wooded area, down the side of the third mountain, through a flock of sheep, Hay (hey) field and final few miles and we were back to the pub by 9.30pm - must be a record.

Thanks Ken for a great run, stunning views, awesome sunsets and well-deserved chips.