Chip Advisor


Date : 16/09/14
Scribe : Spy
Hounds : 35     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.54 km
Recorded time : 101.95 min
Uphillness : 528.80 ft

As we cruised through West Wycombe en route to the hash the ominous outline of the Dashwood Mausoleum came into view. How appropriate, I thought, that Richard Dashwood was the evening's hare.

On arrival at the Eponymous Arms your scribe discovered that his torch was mislaid but was rescued from an evening of darkness and moosing by the ever-ready Sooper.

The turnout was strong - several hashers had become bored with holidays and returned to the fold. The star attraction was Moose who, after many months floating aimlessly on the Thames, declared himself match-fit and brandished a collection of photos showing what he'd been messing about in.

Richard D announced that the trail was nothing special and gave it as 6/4, soliciting a groan from certain short runners would had enjoyed a sub-3 last week. Off we set, wisely not checking out the A40. We began to meander East through a housing estate where Dick had to call us back after faux-flour had been followed.

Crossing Bullocks Farm Lane we headed up towards Towerage, touching the edge of Helles-bottom wood. It looked as if we were going to wind up entering Andy's place by a back route but that was not to be. A sharp turn downhill into High Wood took us back to the A40. This was the L/S split and with no hesitation the longs headed towards the Hell Fire Caves.

At the edge of the village the front-runners (you know who they are) checked in all directions and found the trail after missing one check. When the others caught up and found the missed check there was some confusion after which we headed north, leaving the caves behind us. You might say that was a pity given Dashwood's ancestor Frank and his mates' notorious track record of mock rituals, porn, excessive drinking, wenching and banqueting but on the other hand I think the family have cleaned up their act in recent times and Dick cannot be held accountable.

Leaving a long, leafy and gently curving tunnel we crossed a minor road at Chorley Farm and looped round to Green End Farm.  Then we dropped down to Plomer's Bottom (not sure who she is) and reached another split. This was the long/medium where IGSH complained of ankle damage and was allow to slope off.

The rest of us slogged up a very long hill and joined the Old Oxford Road where we encountered a strange marking. This was duly decoded but I don't want to spoil the fun by leaking the secret contained therein.

Now we were on the home stretch and reached the pub not long after 9:30. Therein we found excellent chips and beer on par. As we had seen before in this pub, a complex board game was in progress as well as a small biker meetup and a photographic club session. Good to see a pub in full flow. It will outlast many others. The GM congratulated Dick on an excellent run and awarded Helen her 400 T-shirt.

As I had been reviewing the "Hashalator" earlier on and had spotted that Roger is the only regular hare without a hash name I mentioned this to him. It's not part of a GM's job to christen himself so that's a to-do for all. I later thought of one candidate name, inspired by his interested in Jo's bits (see last week). Fast Charger?