Chip Advisor


Date : 09/11/10
Scribe : Barney
Hounds : 29     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 0.00 km
Recorded time : 0.00 min
Uphillness : 0.00 ft

Chesham or Hamlet of the River Chess, - Oh yes my mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

The Queens Head it sounds like a pub for transvestites…….. A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary……………

This is important said David as Roger explained the rules and cried “Check it out” then marked the way with an arrow to combat their lack lustre enthusiasm. The assembled hash ambled 50 yards along the narrow cottage lined Chesham street to the 1st check and soon to the next being found a few yards up a short access to Lowndes Park.

The nearby church reminded me of sacrificing Audrey there on a Halloween hash many moons ago. (Only a fake sacrifice of course). We almost sprinted across the park and Des introduced his mate seeming strangely agitated about doing the long or short hash. More social intercourse as we paused to find our way across the dual-carriageway and into Chesham town centre where the old cinema once entertained………….. I hate sex in the movies. – Tried it once, the seat folded up, our drink spilt and really chilled the moment!

Arriving at a footpath that paralleled the Metropolitan Railway I once again recalled how our sacrificed Audrey had scared off two teenage boys appearing with fake blood dripping down her face……….. Definition of a teenager? Gods punishment…. For enjoying sex.

We ran besides the chain-link security fencing until a bridge took us under the tracks and into a wood. The trail developed into a long steady uphill plod and the FRB’s recycled back repeatedly along the strung out hash affording an opportunity to socialise with the more athletic of us such as Hells Belles who had spent the day horse riding, a pursuit that apparently encourages more social behaviour in the evening?

More checks bring little rest as we shovel pass a farm and find an impressive trail of unavoidable shiggy that revealed our new twin hashets were delighted and enthralled to declare “This is what we’re used to?!!” At this point I was definitely lost, but not our Ken. – Seemed to know that we were all destined for Ley Hill, turn right across the cress valley and back to the pub. (I think he could see his house from there!)

At the short/long split there was delay as Des debated whether to take the long or short run. But Des you always take the short! Anyway we set off down a stony, ankle twisting track, while the FRB’s headed onto Ley Hill. Now with the opportunity to check out the trail and with a degree of over enthusiasm I got it totally wrong. Roger had revealed that he had laid the trail on his bike so it seemed appropriate to look for tyre tracks. This strategy surprisingly worked and the next check took us down a narrow overgrown path that soon opened out to a wide track immerging onto a residential road of old council property that delivered us onto the main road into Chesham at an area called Waterside. Trailing through the park there I was convinced and I think encouraged that Roger would have ridden his bike through the stream, so checked across the log stepping stones only to feel doped and to return hastily without falling in.

After that it was a matter of “going for it” under the railway and the shortest route to the pub having safely negotiated the busy Amersham Road roundabout. 

Fullers is an excellent ale and very well served at the Queens Head an old fashioned pub with four separate rooms around the central bar. Thanks Roger for a well laid trail and to all hashers may I say as you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.