Hashes

1270

Date : 09/12/14
Hare : Scribbler
Scribe : Doormat
Venue : The Gate
Hounds : 35     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.67 km
Recorded time : 110.80 min
Uphillness : 493.70 ft

Lights, camera, action! a little bit of show biz glamour comes to Bryants Bottom, well Kate Adie aka Mike Bushell and a camera man come to Bryants Bottom to make a piece for his BBC 1 Sunday morning slot that features less main stream sports. Apparently our hare for the chosen evening Matthew had sent out a very demanding rider for the gig, m&m's with all the red ones removed, bowl of exotic fruits, bottle of Jack Daniels the usual diva requirements plus under no circumstances what so ever was his hash name to be revealed on national television, so bums the word, sorry sorry mums the word (typo era the editor will take that out later).

Matthew was up at the crack of dawn (sorry done it again) Matthew was up very early to set the trail that morning and a glorious bright crisp morning.  It was too unfortunate that the weather pattern was not set to last, so by the time the suitably festively attired hounds arrived that evening the by now usual Tuesday night rain had set in.

As the circle formed for the pre hash address some new faces to HWH3 were welcomed, namely R2D2 hasher's bussed in for the evening under secondment from Didcot. I missed the first part but did manage to catch the part about the long run being 7 miles! Hopefully a BBC sound engineer will be able to edit out the gasps of shock from the assembled Santa's & elves.

Not wanting to keep the camera man, who had gone off ahead, waiting too long  the  hare called the on on up the footpath to the side of the pub, hashers being hashers set off down the road instead and had to be called back. The path from Bryants Bottom up to Dennerhill Farm is very steep so the first shots of HWH3's intrepid night running exploits are of every one walking. 

Unfortunately for any one reading this drivel expecting a blow by blow account of where the hash went, will be bitterly disappointed as I don't have a scooby doo, my usual ploy of getting a map from the hare at the end failed, short cutters still seething from all the false trails last week decided to take their revenge and used the map as a bar towel and then took great delight in handing me a blob of paper mache, they even posted a photo of the blob on face book!   I can only hazard a guess that we made our way along the ridge to Hampden Common before dropping down through Hampden Coppice to the cross roads in Monkton Wood, somehow from there we ended up in the next valley over from Bryants Bottom because there was a dirty great hill between us and the pub.

All I can say with any certainty is that our hare found us some great classic hashing and he did a great job of keeping the pack together and moving despite the rain having taken its toll on the flour.  Hats off to Kate Adie who did the entire 7 miles with his right hand up to his face holding a video camera and giving a running commentary - and what a dashing figure Ant cut in his inflatable Santa suit - but even that couldn't slow him down, the comic affect of his outfit being added too by the combination of chaffing inner leg and shiggy giving the impression he had had a little woopsie.

We next saw the camera man on the downhill run to the on inn, very sensibly he hadn't moved more the 200 yards from the bar all night.

Once dried out and safely tucked up in the back room of The Gate, with beer and bowl after bowl of hot steaming chips, all the rain, hills and shiggy were quickly forgotten.

Hawkeye as always with his finger on the pulse and never one to miss the smallest detail turns to the chap next to him at the bar and says "oh aren't you the bloke that does the sport on the telly" bless him. For one night only HWH3 became a real hash singing the hash song, all be it a censored version suitable for broadcast before the watershed (much to Happy Feet's indignation, she has been radicalised by Berkshire hash).  It was sung with great gusto, unlike the practice sing along a few weeks earlier, perhaps that's why R2D2 had been enlisted! And down downs, one for our hare who also for one night only had to undergo the Mary Whitehouse treatment so was temporarily renamed "bicycle cleavage" and one for Kate Adie.

Mexican Des received his belated tosca, apparently awarded to him for living in Hemel Hempstead!