Date : 30/12/14
Hare : Kamikaze , Kezzer
Scribe : Sarah
Hounds : 27     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 8.87 km
Recorded time : 80.42 min
Uphillness : 836.00 ft

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! A post-Christmas run is what everyone needs when they have filled up on lots of yummy Christmas goodies.

We all met in the carpark, pipped by Alan and Sandra to get the parking spot with prime stumbling distance to the pub and gather around. Our hares instructions indicated apparently it isn't as long as the previous weeks hash. I don't know who could have set such a long hash! Do you? Despite the slightly longer than usual hash of the previous week's virgins Sarah and Carsten returned. With distance options of 5 miles and a bit less and 4 miles and a bit less, expressed in the new Dawson bit SI unit. (Note the bit unit refers to ~1/4 of a mile but with a percentage error of approximately 800% Ed's aside: actually the Dawson bit unit error was actually over 800% on their run).

With frost on the ground and a chill in the air, even Andy Pandy had woosed out and was in a long sleeve top! He still wore shorts though, so not artic temperatures. Off we went across the road towards Stockfield Wood.

The material for this write up was looking slim so we quizzed the hare about setting the route. We heard all about Elvis' (dog) burning love of horses. When setting the hash Elvis ran way down the field to meet the horses. It's now or never Elvis was in trouble and had become surrounded by horses full of suspicion. Don't move Elvis, don't be cruel horses, one wrong move and Elvis could really have left the building. The situation was too much to bare for Kevin but fortunately Elvis unperturbed by the horses' suspicious minds just turned tail and chased them round the field. Phew, that's all right, at least he's OK but this still left Kevin all shook up. Admittedly now, whenever I see a horse while hashing our little four legged friend is always on my mind. (p.s. Can you spot the 12 Elvis songs in this anecdote?)

We continued on to Gurdon's Farm. Alan on-backing his way passed the pack pulled off a stylish moose by tripping over a well-positioned moose trap (a.k.a. a stick). Shortly after, the shorts and longs split. I stood there for a second pondering whether to go short or long when Andy Pandy pipes up "You owe us a long run after last week!" How could I refuse after such a kind request? Off we went, up the hill. The next downhill reminded hashers Ellen was back. Often referred to on the hash as 'Skippy!' for her springy approach to passing by the miles. I'm told even Roger has given this new alternative running style a go.

As we continued running, us Dawsons, were likened to a pair of brackets. Apparently there's a Dawson at the front and at the back and we shouldn't have the two together. I think it must be my new year's resolution to not be at the back. That doesn't mean, however, I will be changing places with my incredibly fast husband. In fact over the course of the hash there were a number of cries of 'speedbump' to remind my supersonic husband of inanimate obstacles along the way. Even Ian was a little concerned at one point of Ant sliding past.

Returning back into Stokenchurch our hare started toying with us by taking us on a rather large circle in the vicinity of the pub. It started to become clear when we approach Keyboard Ken's house. Keyboard Ken's absence was duly noted. I wondered whether it had something to do with the slightly longer hash the previous week. Off course the hash gravitated to the hedge that surrounded Keyboard Ken's house and slowly edged their way towards the front door ready to give a post-Christmas carol rendition. Unfortunately, no-one answered so we left some pretty flour patterns and pressed on humouring Kevin's route as we spiralled in on the pub. There was more 'Hippy Skipping' (as someone called it) from Ellen and happy faces as they came to the 'On Inn'. Eventually we made it back where we were greeted with amazing chips thanks to our hares. Good beer and a chance to relax and in Hawkeye's case remove his exoskeleton which turns him into a bionic man strapped up to within an inch of his life. A fabulous run, well done!