Date : 12/05/15
Hare : Barney
Scribe : Chicken Licken
Venue : The Red Lion
Hounds : 34     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.54 km
Recorded time : 98.55 min
Uphillness : 235.94 ft

It was a lovely evening for a hash as we gathered at the Red Lion in Longwick for another week of chatting and running, still with torches but ever hopeful that this might be the first week of the summer not to need them. Passers by could've mistaken our gathering as a dog-walking training session as there seemed to be a ratio of 3:1 people and dogs. After said dogs provided a mixed display of affection and mardiness our GM called us to order and our hare Barney gave us our orders. We were told it would be the flattest and quickest hash of the year, so with the usual suspicion that that might not be the case, off we went. 

We were joined this week by Sam, our long-lost hasher who desserted us some years ago to move back to Calgary. He's visiting for a few weeks so we will have him for another couple of hashes. Audra made a welcome return for the week, along with hubby Paul who we last saw throwing some death-defying shapes on the dance floor at the Hash Bash in February! Scarlet also came along for a walk, which ended up being a bit of a trek and arrived back at the pub after the longs!

Once again, as with every hash except my own (and sometimes my own), I had no idea where we went! Suffice to say the run was lovely, a little chilly to start with but we soon warmed up running through lush fields while wafting away flies. A couple of flies however were not so lucky and ended up as a protein shot for Nicky and Helen. Various 'swallowing' gags were made but I won't be so crude as to mention the subject in this family-friendly run report. 

Over a few stiles, some sturdier than others, some followed by a thin, wooden bridge over stagnant streams but fortunately no casulaties. While we're on the subject, did you know that Piers Anthony's series of books called Apprentice Adept, the main character is named Stile, with explicit reference to the fencing structure. A must read! 

Now, it's been a while, but we had a field of cows! My first clue was just as I was hurdling the 27th stile of the night, Matthew the Cow Whisperer joined me and engaged me in conversation about skiing, trying cheerily to distract me from the herd of beasts. I did managed to calmly jog on to the next stile with minimal Bolt-style sprinting and screaming, which I see as progress, I've either conquered my fear, or they were too far away to be that menacing! I was grateful to Aaron however for making sure the exit stile was clear for me to leap over! 

With a few nettle stings, and a puncture wound from an angry thorn for Jess, we made it back to the pub. We enjoyed our beverages and some lovely chips while Roger said some stuff about some stuff. Another fun Tuesday evening, thanks to Barney for a great hash!