Chip Advisor


Date : 19/07/16
Scribe : Klingon
Venue : A car park
Hounds : 39     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 8.85 km
Recorded time : 88.20 min
Uphillness : 821.70 ft

It had been a very hot day - 34C where I had been near Oxford in the afternoon – so we turned up at the car park for Coombe Hill to find it crowded with cars belonging to people out enjoying the evening warmth and sunshine. The Hash completely filled up the spaces with eventually cars parking on the verges down the road. Upon Roger calling the Hash to order Cow Whisperer declared that the flour would always be on the right and the run would be "absolutely flat". Where have I heard that before, cheek, especially as we were on Coombe Hill with steep slopes all around?

Umpteen ways to check out for the first stretch which no-one found so the hare prompted us to take the left hand trail out onto Coombe Hill to a check at the top of a very steep hill. The front runners checked down this to find it was a false trail. Obviously we should have learned from this because we then tracked along the escarpment to Coombe Hill monument where another check had the front runners checking down an even steeper hill to find another falsie. Along this stretch people were out sunbathing and picnicking and the views across the Aylesbury Vale were stupendous. It made you wonder what the h??? we were doing running in the heat? A stop at the monument to cool down.

The memorial was erected, and unveiled, on 4th November 1904 to the memory of the men from Buckinghamshire who had died in the Boer War. Since it was erected it has been struck by lightning, virtually demolishing it. In 1939 it was restored which then caused problems during World War 2 when it became necessary to camouflage it to avoid it being used as a sighting landmark by enemy aircraft.

Off along the trail towards Wendover and over the sunken path to a check with another view whereupon the Hash were again fooled by the hares. With a bit of prompting the trail led through a hedge into the shade of the woods. Lots of flour to mark the meandering trail now and tricky to know where we were but at one point heading down the footpath towards Dunsmore.

Although in the shade it was still hot. A hasher who will be nameless reckoned that women were attracted by sweat. He was quickly disenchanted. In any case horses sweat, men perspire and ladies glow. Did you know that researchers discovered that men on average start perspiring much more quickly than women and then twice as much when they are in the middle of exercising?

West over the road and into Fugsden Wood and the long/short split. The shorts meandered back through the woods, along the Ridgeway and back up the road to the car park.

Then in the cars to drive down to the Russell Arms at the bottom of the hill at Butlers Cross. It was very pleasant sitting and drinking in the pub garden, but where were the longs? Eventually they arrived in the pub quite late and it transpired that they had lost Tim who had checked out for miles in the wrong direction. Two of the most gullible hashers, Gerry & Ian, gallantly went out to find him and bring him back, so the record of no lost hashers on the High Wycombe hash remains.

Roger as usual said something and handed out T-shirts whilst we were scoffing chunks of potato chips. Thanks to the hares for the chips and an almost "absolutely flat" run.