Date : 30/05/17
Scribe : Rocky Road
Venue : The Cock Inn
Hounds : 37     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.48 km
Recorded time : 111.18 min
Uphillness : 217.79 ft

Due to the person who was supposed to do the write up not being there we have two write ups instead this week...

First from Rocky Road, Rocky Major and Rocky Minor

An interesting start to the hash with yellow diversion signs to follow rather than flour. Then an intelligence test to decide where exactly the pub had gone. Down the hole? Across the common? No wrong pub Gerry.
Ah! 'Access only', perhaps? We need access so …....Yep that's the way and we all passed the test, even if we did arrive a tad late.

The General Menace, our hare, explained that the flour would always be on the left except when it's on the left, no maybe on the right! Anyway a choice of routes, short, medium and long to suit our varied company. Mia, a virgin hasher told us she is 7 years old. (She didn't tell us how speedy she is and she did more checks than any the shorties ever do!).

The GM said that he short shower yesterday after 4pm should not have upset the flour, just the road it seems.

For hungry hashers he explained his culinary delights, such as B&B, C&C, T and E and maybe a G & T ????

Some wanted to get straight to the nosh, but as Roz was still negotiating the yellow signs, it fortunately had not arrived, so that was not an option. Some serious running had to be done first.

Off we went down the road and soon found the wrong trail. A large dog tried to deter us from going that way, but the “on back” call found us all trotting dutifully through the churchyard. Mia had checked the right way after all. Meanwhile Mr.Chips tried to calm the dog with poetic words.

Through the field down to the River Chess, we sped. Such a pretty route, but beware the stinging nettles, Dulcie. Keyboard Ken to the rescue with a dock leaf! When that didn't work, Mr. Chips sang in his Donald Duck voice and cheered Dulcie along. We passed dogs and horses and camels, oops no, not camels, but llama, alpaca or vicuna. Your guess is as good as mine.

Across a bridge or two, where the stream shimmered in the sunset. (My poetic words!) and along through Mount Wood. At the first split we all declined the offer of short (Mick being absent) and were led on the medium/long by 'walking' Keyboard Ken!

At the next split the longs set off, (motorway bound I guess) and the mediums breathed a sigh of relief, now they could slow down. They headed for the hole in the road. Suddenly Dulcie was missing and Rocky Road thought she might have disappeared down the hole. “Barney did you check the hole?” “Only a water pipe down there” he replied. “There she is up ahead!” Phew!

They headed up a steep green hill as the sun was setting and were soon back at the pub. How nice to sit in the garden at last and await the G.M.'s feast.

A lovely Summer hash. Thanks GM and farewell to Simon for a while............

Joke: The Calculating Sheepdog.
A talking-sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen; he reports back to the farmer:
“All 40 accounted for.”
“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up”.


Some lovely pictures of hashers.


And now an extra write up from Alan...

An unusual Hash, inverted in many respects, so seems appropriate the report is written by someone who wasn't there.

The hash started earlier than usual for most hashers, because of a false trail in the form of a road closed on the single track road leading to the pub, not ideal for turning, but warning other members of the falsy was made easy by the narrowness. This early start in the cars was followed by a late start on foot from the Cock up (sorry Inn), apparently to allow the car hash to fully finish and regroup. This unfortunately gave General Menace time to read his notes, which included: "The trail is laid on the left", "apart from one small section of road, which is laid on the left". "So it is all on the left then?",  "No it is on the right, apart from the bits that aren't"

With that fully clarified and the T&C's explained, no not terms and conditions, tuna cheese, cheese and chutney egg, calm cows (there may have been more, refer to page 3 GM notes) we set off checking. The flour we found eventually was laid fresh by Roger, this is unusual having a live hash set by the guy at the back, but we hashers are an adaptable lot! Luckily Ant and Andy had decided that they wanted to do double mileage for the evening, and kept down on forwards, that is going to the back seeing the flour, then chasing after the checkers to tell them which way to go.

Many hashers took the opportunity of a detour off the unmarked trail to see the hole in the road, that was the falsy set for the cars. The very short short had not been set, which was a bit worrying for the longs because we kept thinking we might be on it. Arriving back at the pub, we partook of very nice baguette sandwiches in lieu of chips. The run had so confused Hawkeye the Hash brewer, he wanted diet ginger beer! And donated Victoria sponge cake to the proceedings. The fun continued after, as the hole was still in the road, that was the obvious way home. An enjoyable run if a little unusual well attended by younger members as it is half term.

Ps. Good travels to Zebedee who has been posted overseas for 6 months.