Date : 10/07/18
Hare : Sarah , Speedbump
Scribe : Budgie
Hounds : 27     Dogs : 2
Recorded distance : 10.31 km
Recorded time : 98.47 min
Uphillness : 115.50 ft

Given our unusually seasonal run of fine weather and our unusually successful run of games at the world cup, those of us who assembled at the Apple Tree did so with good humour. It was one of our more compact gatherings but we had a few welcomes to do: we welcomed back Jo from from a very ouchy injury. We welcomed back Jess from getting married. And we welcomed Rosie, a sort of virgin, who was picked up by Ian during a jaunt into Berkshire. Having done our welcoming, and in a moment of good humoured madness, I agreed to write up the hash as last week's hare was absent. 

This week's hare told us we would be doing fair bit of running on or near roads so leads were recommended for dogs over the very precise 5.6 miles of freshly laid flour for the longs and an even more precise 3.85 miles for the shorts. By freshly laid he meant half of it done before work and half it just before the hash - honestly, is he a man or a machine? 

Anyway - enough of the pleasantries, and presently we set off pleasantly, if somewhat peasantly, for a gentle meander around the East Common. Before long we found ourselves coming off the common and heading towards Hedgerley on the Windsor End where Mr Chips found a discarded England flag. Support for England was duly shown by ...err .. flying the aforementioned at .. well lets just say, the posterior was put into posterity!! In hind sight, this may have been the beginning of the end for our run at the world cup!

My Hips

We quickly left the road and entered the world of private housing estates along the rather splendidly named Camp Road, where, for reasons quite beyond me,we, as a group, elected to do the extra loop that was especially included for Andy ... who was absent!!! Having completed this excursion it was back across the A40 and on to the West Common where we saw a very dry looking pond and learnt that the bathing in the Thames is frowned upon (I think Ian can explain why).

Happy campers

From there we ambled around the back roads of Gerrards Cross wondering how the local residents manage in such modest dwellings before crossing the A40 once more This time we headed along a wooded footpath which then opened out to take us past the edge of Bustrode Manor for the longs while the shorts had a left turn which lead almost direcetly to the the long slog up Hedgerley Lane. 

Once we passed Bulstrode, the path lead to a style where the was a sign reminding us the area was not be used for exercising dogs!! Having scratched my head about that and decided the intent was really to say please stay on the public footpath it was a delight to see field of fools being entranced by field of foals.

Feeling foalish 

It was then on on over the motorway and into the outskirts of Hedgerley where there were some pretty houses, around a pretty pond, and some pretty fishy smells coming from somewhere (it was not Hector before you ask!) A gentle jaunt along a typical South Bucks foot path lead us to the edge of a field where we admired a bird of prey. Was it a kite? A buzzard? A hen harrier? A hash harrier? (ho ho ho). I had no idea as my bird identification skills extend only as far big / small and flies / runs. However, the GM advises me, having consulted the necessary references, that it was most likelky to be a juvenile buzzard. 

The track then took us to an motorway underpass which was decorated at the entrance with some really quite attractive artwork. Whether it was a community art installation or just superior graffiti for the residents of Hedgerley and Gerrards Cross I am not sure. anyway needless to say, the assembled masses all tried to get the best echo out of the underpass (so predictable!) This led us to where the long and short routes reunited, and we both face the long slog up the hill to Windsor End. 

pretty vandalismFrom there it was a fairly straightforward run back via some more very modest houses (I seem to recall there actually was a bungalow in that estate), before the foot path arrived at the pedestrian under pass, almost opopsite the Apple Tree. I think though, we all took our chances crossing at street level! 

Thanks Ant for a really rather lovely hash. 


=-=-=-=-= JOKES =-=-=-=-= 

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. 

A bar was walked into by the passive voice. 

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening. 

Two quotation marks walk into a "bar."

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. 

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything. 

A question mark walks into a bar? 

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly. 

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type." 


Ed's note - Thanks to Mrs Jess for the photos.