Chip Advisor

1502

The April Fool's Red Dress Run
Date : 02/04/19
Scribe : Cartwheel
Hounds : 35     Dogs : 2
Recorded distance : 10.25 km
Recorded time : 94.55 min
Uphillness : 499.39 ft

The weekend was glorious ... suddenly it felt like springtime, perfect for my first hash in, well, months! And then Tuesday came. Rainy. Windy. Miserable. Ideal hashing weather. It was a bit of a trek to Risborough from the wilds of Farnham Common but I managed to catch a few zeds on the way up.

Having a parked a short walk from the pub we arrived there to a see a sea  of red dresses, accompanied by dire warnings of ND forfeits (No Dress) from our hare. The long was too long for me so I headed off on an appealing 3.5 mile short. We were also told we would be coming back on the same path we went out on and the shorts were asked not to kick through the checks as the longs would follow behind. This of course presupposed a) the shorts would check and b) the longs wouldn't overtake us.

And off we went. Pretty soon after though, Hector stopped for his obligatory stop and I left dad behind to clean up.  We crossed a main road and then turned left on  the Upper Icknield Way. There was some chat about where this road lead to/ from but I didn't really get it. Anyway, after the on road stretch  we turned right onto a field with some clumping clay that built up on my trainers till I was as tall as mum, but slipping all over the place.  We had our first on ND on back where the forfeit seemed to be skipping to the back. It looked like fun, but it seemed not everyone agreed so I reminded the on backers - at least Zac took heed!

It was on this leg of the of the run, that I mentioned to Maggie that I had never written up an Hash. We talked about that for a bit and how if you were a hare one week you were meant to be the scribe the next, but sometimes the scribe wasn't there and Roger asked for volunteers. I promised that if that happened I would put my hand up next time a volunteer was asked for. Little did I know that just an hour or so later Roger would be asking for volunteers to write up (Big Foot had gone AWOL apparently), and true to my word I put up my hand. It did take a few people to draw the GM's attention to this, but eventually I was the scribe!! It must have been fate (or kismet as dad put it). :)

So back to the Hash, and after a bit of a wibbly wobbly rectangle we were back on the same clumpy muddy path we started on (as per Nickey's promise) but with still no long in sight - maybe the longs wouldn't get past us after all!! Before I knew it we were at the On Inn. Mick, though, thought it must be a mistake, as were still a fair way from the pub. Not long after that, Nickey was there to reassure us we were on the way back with a direction to carefully  cross the main road and then turn left. Somehow Mick and dad managed to check about three different paths before working out the way to go (including going down the drive way of someone who nervously locked their front door as we loitered without intent , which was kind of embarrassing).

 Back at the pub, I settled in for a nice glass of iced water and some proper chip shop chips (thanks  Hares) . Not too much later the longs joined us.  It was only then I thought, I'm not sure what happened on for the bit the longs did. But I did hear a couple of good stories, including poor Chris, who 'sensibly' wore studs for cross country running. Unfortunately once caked in clay they had no more grip than anyone else's shoes and he end up with a nasty gash on his shin having slipped on a stile.

 Apparently some of these things happened on the longs:

  • ND on backs included bunny hops and piggy back but excluded press ups
  • Windmills were discussed at length
  • Those in red dresses found the sleet shower quite chilly (Alex: So , Roger about  your school days...)
  • Martin and Vet Tim seemed to go the extra mile in terms of dressing up with wigs and hand bags

Spy did not spy with his little eye something starting with K in the boot of his car which meant we gave him a lift home.

Funny Book Titles

Maths by Adam Up
Tummy Troubles by Di O'Rhea
Tree Felling by Tim Burr
Old Fashioned Sweets by Annie Seedball
Why Cars Stop by M .T. Tank
A History of Robotics by Ann Droid
The Transmutation of Base Materials by Al Kemi

Jokes

I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

My friend said to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "no it doesn't"

My friend died because he couldn't remember his blood type, he kept  saying "Be positive!" But it's hard with out him!!

How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.

I couldn't figure out why the ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.