Chip Advisor

1538

Date : 03/12/19
Hare : Spy
Scribe : Waldorf
Venue : The Feathers
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.37 km
Recorded time : 83.55 min
Uphillness : 1086.00 ft

Having eventually located the car park which was probably pretty well known to everyone else, and looked at the temperature which was hovering on 2 degrees, our Hare called the hardy if relatively small number of us to order.

The usual preamble was followed by us setting off in the direction of the pub before turning right up the almost adjacent road. It is here that it gets difficult. The map supplied by our Hare only covered part of the trail (no denials Paul) and recollection as to where we went is pretty non existent. [Hare] rests his case

So, time for something completely different ............

 
Ding Dong, “who the hell is that, I’m just going out to the Hash”.

“Hellloooo Big Man, look at your coupon”

“Rab, what are you doing here, how did you get down from Glasgow?”

“ Shug” “It’s Hugh Rab” “Shug, I had the polis right up ma crevice so I jumped a train in Glesga and hid in the bog to slip the ticket”

“ Well Rab, I’m just off to the run”

“ Yous still Dashin?”

“It’s called Hashing Rab and I suppose you better come with me, can’t leave you here with Mavis – she’s highly strung”

“ Is that the one where yous run from a swally shop and then get back there to get blootered?”

“ We have a social ale or two Rab, we do not (usually) get drunk”

“ Allow you Big Man, deal me in. I’s a bit scunnered but I’ll give it a go if there’s a swally at the end ‘o it. Where is it?”

“Chalfont St.Giles” Rab”

“ Ain’t that in Welsh Wales, you know, land of the sheep sha.....?” “No Rab it’s a highly respectable town a few miles away”

 
On the Hash.

“ Hey Shug, how long is this Hash thing. I’m even more scunnered and could do wi a piece – sandwich in Sassenach”

“Our Hare said that, if we go short, it will be about 3.5 miles. If you keep thinking that the police are chasing you, you should be able to keep up”

“3.5 miles, which dafty did this. What’s that smell – bit like a Glega fish wife”

“ I think that is you Rab. When did you last have a bath or change that string vest that you live in?”

“ Nae Shug. I had a bath only last month, or was it October?. Ma string vest is less than 2 years old. Ma personal hygiene is stoater!”

“Look Rab, there is Milton’s Cottage – very famous”

“ Aye Big Man, Milton’s Mutton Pie Company is real big in Govan. A grand swally soak up after The Four Ways”

“No you philistine, Milton the writer – you know Paradise Lost, Paradise Regained etc.”

“Paradise is lost here alright Shug, look at the state ‘o ma trainers, they are real boak”

“ Stop moaning Rab & get on with it. Move yourself, we should be at the long/short split soon”

“ Better be or some fizzer’s gonna get a touch of the S.T.P.I.O’s. Ma nerves is screamin for a pint”


But enough of Govan’s finest, Rab and Shug (Hugh). We were now at the long/short split where us shorties were instructed to leg it for half a mile along what could have been Narcot Lane to a footpath right.

From here, our merry group ran down across the field, through a copse, to arrive at the long trail back into Chalfont. After some milling about, on left was called and we successfully wound our way back into town passing the church on the way.

Back in the pub we enjoyed chips and, for the meat eaters, scotch eggs. Many thanks to Paul(Spy) for a good evening.