Chip Advisor

The Three Horseshoes


Chip advice dated: 29 September 2015 - Hash #no 1314

Up down pub ranking

The Good news: Doombar was £3.40 a pint and deemed ‘passable’ by Barney. There was also Thatchers cider from a box on the bar which looked like it had been connected directly to the urinal (given the worrying cloudy light orange colour), but which Mick also deemed ‘passable’ …otherwise he literally would have been taking the p*ss! The Bad news: That was it on the beer & cider front apart from Carlsberg, Guinness and something else from the ‘fizzy’ tap. Not exactly living up to the sign at the front of the pub proclaiming ‘Good Food and Cask Ales’ (note the plural)
Not beer:
STD’s were £2 a pint and distinctly lacking in lime, and I’ve got a sneaking feeling that they charged the same for a half as a pint, given Audrey’s £17 round for 5 drinks (including 2 STD halves)….no, actually even that wouldn’t account for £17 given that the other drinks were 2 Doombars (£6.80) and a Thatchers….unless the cider cost around £6 a pint!…but I digress. Not great.
Slightly tricky this one, as the chips were from ‘The Chippy’ in Thame and consumed ‘on the run’ about 2/3rds of the way round. So, it was alfresco eating, and sod the condiments or any other fancy stuff, whilst minding that Sandra’s hands didn’t suffer 3rd degree burns. For once (amusingly), the Shorts went without, having run past the self-same Chippy so they were in exceedingly grumpy mood back at the pub, fighting over packets of crisps like a flock of unruly seagulls. It’s a novel idea having chips mid-hash, and they were good & hot from the chippy, but I don’t think it will catch on.
Well, it was snug and it was warm inside….which would be due to all the heat given off by the Longs from the combination of a 7-11 mile run (depending upon whose GPS you checked) and the residual heat from the recently ingested chips. Did I mention that the Shorts had missed out on chips? Oh, I did didn’t I, hence the rather glum Hashmosphere from that side of the room, although Roz’s birthday lifted the mood considerably as Brownies, Parkin, and left-over chocolates from the Hash Weekend were all wheeled out in a sugar-fuelled parade. What else…well there was reasonable parking (but you’d expect that when you’re that far outside the 10 mile HWH3 hashing radius), but quite a small drinking room, and an even smaller bar with only one barmaid serving….so those of a grumpy disposition weren’t helped by having to first wait for their drinks and then pay through the nose for the privilege. I’m afraid it’s a 4.


Hummery: Doombar. Quite an apt description given the only ale on tap and the mood of the Shorts ex-chips. That being said, throw in expensive STDs, questionable charging practises and an uninspiring out-of-the-way location, and you don’t exactly have a recipe for success.

Overheard on the hash (29th September 2015)

The Shorts have been taken off in cars….that’s the last we’ll see of them” “Well I’m definitely not chipping in for any ransom” [The novel start to the Hash provokes a degree of concern…well not really]

”He’s a bit of a gobby FRB isn’t he?”  “Well, he’s got the legs to back it up…..I used to have the legs as well, but now I’ve just got the gob” [Rob & Roger discuss Anthony’s Duracell Bunny impression]

“It’s a shame Kevin’s not here” “Why?” “Well, then we could sing ‘There’s a dog walked out the chip shop swears he’s Elvis’” [Matt postulates]  “…but he’s a liar and I’m not sure about you!” [Ian then breaks off into song…not directed at The Hare….I think]

”What does a 26 mean?” “It means that 26 of us have to go to the back of the hash” “But there are only about 15 of us….that’s stupid” [Ian’s friend - Sean - on his 2nd run comes to terms with hashing]

 We lost Gerry about 20 minutes ago…but then we found him…or he found us [Andy displays the right amount of hash concern for Gerry’s well-being]

It’s like one of those horror films, where the stragglers get picked off one by one [Cheery banter ensues as the hashers run round yet another housing estate]

”You were clean-shaven when you left - long run?” [Audrey states the bleedin’ obvious to returning Longs]

”New socks from TK Maxx, new shirt from Primark….aren’t you the brand-conscious one eh?” “Everything gets covered in sh*t in the end, so what’s the point?” [Andy defends his wardrobe splurge]


No. Date Hare Details