Chip Advisor

England's Rose


Chip advice dated: 12 July 2016 - Hash #no 1356

Up down pub ranking

[Mick] NO DRAFT BEER!!! Yes, I know it is incredible but there weren't a drop. However, the evening was somewhat rescued by a very large selection of bottled beer at £3.70/£3.80. [Matt] Well, technically speaking, there was beer on draught....just that it wasn't of the 'drinkable' variety, with the usual selection of lager lout and cream flow froth. Still, it felt like raiding a very well-stocked drinks cabinet, such was the choice of bottled beer.
Not beer:
[Mick] £2.50 for lime & soda and over three quid for a pint of coke. Scandalous!! [Matt] Thank goodness I went 'long', for bottle of Old Speckled Hen...especially when I pointed out to Ken that it cost the same price as his pint of coke £3.50. Ken deemed himself very interested, and thanked me for my kind observation....although not in quite so many words.
[Mick] Reasonable quantities backed up by chicken thingys. Condiments only discovered after chips had been scoffed. [Matt] #hint1 - sit at the closest table to the kitchen so that when the hot plates come out, you get dumped with more than most, #hint2 - send Jess out to forage for condiments straight away.....I mean, it's not like I should be having to tell old pros this sort of basic potatoe-based information, is it?!
[Mick] Elected for the field sized garden with a scattering of seating. Hence little overall togetherness and Roger's speech was somewhat lost given the vast space. [Matt] A rather small parking out front given the acreage out back, which started off like a pub garden and then sort of merged into the far distance. Inside was OK - split-level L-shaped bar with wood panelling - which had the feel of a local drinkers' pub...albeit that most of the regulars were on the yellow fizzy stuff....hmmm.


Hummery: A strange pub/hotel situated along the tumbleweed strewn old A.40 along which very few wary punters travel. Small car park replete with gypsy type tarmac lorries ( all roight Sir, I'll do your drive dead cheap now) and. as lamentably stated, no draft beer so only bottled fiz on offer [Mick]


Overheard on the hash

"Whoops, I think we're going to have to reform the CPS tonight" [stopping by a field at the start of the hash]

"What's the CPS?"

"Jo's 'Cow Protection Squad'" [however, Jo very quickly went short, so the CPS was not called into action that evening]


"What are you playing with on your phone there Sooper?"

"It's Pokemon Go......I've got to beat the kids......ha...wait there....don't move....there's a rat near your foot

[vaguely hysterical sounds of girly screaming ensue]

"No, don't worry - it's a Pokemon Rat.....[Sooper taps his keyboard]...there, got it!"


"Eeeeuk! I just ran through a huge pile of horse poo there - I think it went right up the back of my leg, can you check?" [Nicky takes kicking through checks to a new level]

"Well, with your wet backside from the slide, it does all look rather messy....still, I'm sure you'll be allowed to go to the toilet first when we get back to the pub, after all, who'd want to stand in your way looking like that?"


"Well, no draught ales, but they do have a decent range...and this is well above my plimsoll line." [Mick looks quite happy]

"What's that you're drinking Mick?" [Matt enquires]

"King Goblin."

"Actually, not a bad hash name for you Mick...after all, you've got the looks...."


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