Chip Advisor

Merlin's Cave

Chalfont St Giles

Chip advice dated: 29 November 2016 - Hash #no 1377

Up down pub ranking

[Mick] Plenty of hand pumps, principally from Charlie Wells. Bombardier and the very thin Eagle (3.6%) plus Youngs London Gold - regrettably now brewed in darkest Bedfordshire. However, a lovely drop of Directors on offer, this well kept but predictably 4 quid a pot. [Matt] The Directors was definitely a bright, warm spot on a cold, dark evening!
Not beer:
[Mick] The feeling of well being at the lime & soda coming in at £1.25 was somewhat negated by a fairly hefty £3.20 for a pint of pump coke. Keyboard Ken rechecked his change twice before saying he would have to go and fix some more tellies to pay for it! [Matt] It's costly work being a teetotaller these days eh....almost enough to drive you to drink?!
[Mick] Fairly small bowls of small but well cooked chips which resembled the little bits at the bottom of the sack but were rite tasty. These supported by sweet tattie chips and, apparently, onion rings although these probably never made it past Mike the Muncher. [Matt] Sweet potatoes?....on a hash?....with our reputation ?! Well we were rather close to Gerrards Cross, dahling!
[Mick] A very substantial and upmarket venue raised from the ashes of what was formerly a pretty rough old boozer. Strange mix of the modern with a bunch of beams thrown in for good measure. Difficult to actually figure out what Merlin's Cave is trying to be and to locate HWH3 in one specific area. [Matt] Cosy, low-beamed nooks & crannies….which we inveigled ourselves into with our customary hash stealth. Any locals who hadn't already been winkled out of their cave-like crevices were soon flushed out into the open by Roger's missives. As Mick says, rather an interior design/rah look set in an unprepossessing non-rah part of the High Street with no parking to speak of. There again, the Mummies who lunch would probably just double park anyway?!


Hummery: The 17th century Merlin's Cave, situated in the perma tan soaked village of Chaffont St. Gilles was once apparently visited by John Milton whose gaff lies just up the road. Noted that he supposedly only visited the once having presumably done his groats on a drop of the pricey wine on offer before scuttling off back up the hill. Now reincarnated at a reputed cost of over £1M, it obviously was the subject of more than one internal design brief, an ugly duckling now a lovely swan - or is it goose?    

Overheard on the hash (22nd Nov)

"Hey Comrade Mike...what have you got under your hat!" [Mike turns up sporting a 1980's Gorbachev-style Russian hat]

"Vodka - but don't tell anyone, or they'll all want some!" [Mike has a cunning plan...]

“Is that Amersham over there?" [Hawkeye practises his night-time navigation] “No, it's Chalfont - we've just come from there" "Well, I was close for once, eh?"[Hawkeye's glass is half-full for once]

“Hey! I’ve found the trail…it’s this way….On On!” [Hawkeye sets off at a tremendous rate down a path....then about 100m later looks back] “I said ‘On On!’ …why are you all going that way?” [Hawkeye slows down….] “That’s the Medium Trail Hawkeye….everybody else is going Long.” [Hawkeye stops dead and has to backtrack quickly across a field!] “Oh shit!”

“How to bloody hell does he go so fast?! I’m going to have to stick right on his tail, otherwise I’ll be totally lost!” [Matt W attempts to follow the Speed Walking Master, Matt R]

“I'm going to call you after that Russian super-boxer from that Rocky film...what was his name again....ah, that's it, Ivan Drago!"[Matt W has an idea.....]

"What on earth are you talking about - what's Rocky?" [Sarah looks quizzical] "Ah Matt, you know you're getting old when all your cultural references pass over the heads of the younger generation!" [Sooper speaks up for the older generation]

“I’m sorry, I just can’t help it” [Helen bursts out laughing every time she passes the speed walkers] ”You both look like you’ve had an accident in your pants….you especially Mr Wright!”

“I’ll have to think of a name for you both……the Poo Paddlers…….how about Shit Strollers…..hang on, just leave it with me…..” [Helen indulges in a spot of collective hash naming for the speed walkers]

“Ah, the disciple has now become the master!” [as Matt W finally passes Matt R on the home straight in a glory run to the finish after 75mins of absolutely knackering speed walking!]


No. Date Hare Details