Chip Advisor

The Golden Ball

Pinkneys Green

Chip advice dated: 31 January 2017 - Hash #no 1387

Up down pub ranking

Alas only two pumps both serving Rebellion. The Roasted Nuts was actually quite good although many a sharp intake of breath was heard at the £4.10 a pint price. Dave somehow managed to pay £3.80 but the bar maid did say it was the end of the barrel. Also Indisputably Pusillanimous Ale (IPA). [Matt] Oh, my heart sank when I saw only 2 ales from Rebellion were on offer, the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the anti-Rebellion (I always struggle with that phrase - would it make them conformists?!) brigade sounding loud and clear in my ears. Myself, I like the offerings from Marlow’s finest Bottom, and Roasted Nuts on a night such as tonight was more than welcome…in fact, I’d say that it perfectly hit the spot! Still, nice bar, and service was swift, even if the pound coins did disappear from your pocket at an alarming rate!
Not beer:
Hawkeye clutching a "pint" (actually a bit less) glass of thin lime & soda at £2 and trying to look happy about it! Dry January? - which day was it?? Cola similarly priced and Aud's well loaded Choc at £3.20. [Matt] Well, Hawkeye trying to look happy full stop is an event….in fact when have I ever seen Hawkeye look happy?….oh yes, that very same evening a couple of hours earlier when I moosed in front of him…I think he actually laughed at that point! Mind you, £2 L&S is no laughing matter.
Plummy,scrummy and altogether yummy. Double bowls of twice or three times (any advance on three?) cooked golden beauties delivered on a board. Small accompanying thimbles of ketchup and mayo and something with green bits in which was given the thumbs down on our table. [Matt] A very very solid 9 indeed - proper chips, beautifully cooked and presented, with little bowls of Tomato sauce and Aud’s ‘Chef’s Special’ !
Plenty of seating in our own area with a merciful lack of customers and heating supplied by a faux looking log fire. An enjoyable place to be with decent service and those chips, oohh those chips! [Matt] To be fair, there was one poor couple holding hands in the corner, trying to have a romantic evening in what was a deserted front area…until the Hash invaded and occupied! Plenty of parking outside, and plenty of seating inside, nicely decorated and cosy….this didn’t feel like one of the soulless gastropubs. Having said that, it was pretty empty before we arrived, so watch this space!


Previously The Lemon Tree, The Golden Ball has had many reincarnations over the years to arrive at today's gastro style pub with a somewhat over the top "Epic Dining Experience & Epic Drinking Experience" being quoted on their web site. Obviously the subject of some considerable investment, the walls are replete with inscrutable writing and some kitsch art. Positioned on the Maidenhead road, it can nearly hold hands with The Arbour. Two boozers in this relatively rural location seems pushing it!    


Overheard on the hash (31st Jan) 

“Nikki…could you bend over a moment please?” [Helen asks Nikki nicely…and Nikki duly consents…bending over in front of Helen to touch her ankles] “Have you got space invaders on your knickers?”  “Ah no, they’re pandas”   


“Erm Helen….how can you tell what’s on Nikki’s knickers?”  “Well, I’ve got this new torch - it’s really really bright”   “Wow…a hash X-ray torch, I’ve always wanted one of those!”  “Can we have one for the next Hash Xmas Present…pleeeeeeaaasseeee!!!” [about 5 male hashers get down on their knees in unison in front of Helen and beg!]


“What about your knickers Helen?”  “Hey, you’ll find no motifs on my bum!”


“Brick end - well that’s a dead end route for starters”  [Kev calls it early] “On on” [Kev is ‘uncalled’] “I told you it was a dead end…caught between a brick and a soft place!” [Kev is proved right]


“Shiggy…..oh, more shiggy……another bit of shiggy!”  [Jess assiduously calls out at the start of the hash] “I think you can stop calling that now Jess….it’s not going to get much drier!”


I had saved up for my wedding dress…but then the ground rent came in and the car needed fixing, so I reckon I’ll just get a big roll of Bacofoil and make do on the day.” [Jess’s wedding plans take a new direction] “Well, your fiancé can keep his clingfilm on from his Stag Night, so you’ll be well-matched”  [Matt tries to be helpful]  “I could make a veil out of toilet paper”  “What if it rains though? Maybe one of those cake protectors…to stop the flies landing?”  [Matt still trying to be helpful]  “Yes, I think that look would work quite well!”


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