Chip Advisor

The Five Horseshoes


Chip advice dated: 16 June 2015 - Hash #no 1298

Up down pub ranking

Good points: well-kept Oxford Gold (£3.90) Not so good points: Expensive and not a wide range of ales outside of the ubiquitous 'standards' (Carling, Tenants...etc)
Not beer:
Eek! £2.60 STD (£2.00 for a half!), £3.50 coke. Andy's 'standard' round of 2 beers + 1 glass of wine was £11.50, compared to less than £9.00 a fortnight ago in the Marlow Donkey....but hang on, it was only 1 and a half pints this time! Re-empahsise expensive
Good points: nice chips ("these are made of potato" pronounced Hawkeye, somewhat mysteriously) and plenty of sauces. Not so good points: it's lucky we were a relatively small hash as these were very relatively small bowls, definitely not 'hash' sized (a
Stunning views from the extensive beer garden overlooking the green valley & hills beyond with lots of outdoor seating and plenty of parking opposite the pub. Inside was very oldy worldy; flagstones, low beams and sloping walls the colour of burnished leather lit by sidelights giving an intimate feel.....shame there was nobody else there at all! Feels like a restaurant pub serving beer as a sideshow - drinkers not especially encouraged, in fact, the 3/4 mile out postcode makes you wonder if they want punters at all, but I guess at these prices it's not too surprising!


Hummery: Rich Jag-driving diners rather than sweaty hatchback hashers are probably this pub's target clientele. Lovely setting, but boy do you pay for the view!

Overheard on the hash (16th June 2015)
“Be careful of the cows in the field, let your dogs off the lead" [Rob cautions] "Why, we often run through fields with cows?"[The Hash questions] "Well, one of them broke my wife's back last week" [Rob cautions] more forcibly] "Ah....Matt R, you go first" [The Hash nominates the 'Cow Wrangler' to clear the way]

“Hang on, maybe somebodys on the 'udder' line?" "Are you sure you haven't mis-herd?"[The Hash has fun listening in to Sandra's cow hotline updates from Audrey]

"Nah, it's OK, just a load of cows with their calves" [Hawkeye, bestriding a stile, pronounces the field ahead 'safe'] "What's that big white one over there with horns then?" "Ah, that might not be a cow"[The Hash disagrees & Hawkeye demurs]

"This is one 'L' of a run" [Mark's years of waiting for an 'L' on the trail finally pays off] "That's not an 'L' - it's an 'F'" [Matt brings Mark's joy crashing down to earth] "Sh*t, is it too much to ask for an 'L'?!"[Mark takes it well]

"The 'F' actually stands for 'Fort' if you'd listened to the briefing" [Mark stands corrected] "Not much of a Fort is it - I mean, you can go over it and round's a rubbish Fort" [Mark refuses to stand corrected for long]

"I remember when this was all fields.."[Paul gestures expansively across the valley] "But it's all fields now Paul?" [Matt & Andy query this statement]"I meant even more fields" [Paul stands firm] "Ah, would that be when the Brakspear Brewery was still open?" [The Classic Phrase makes a long-overdue reappearance]

"O-arrr..Shiver me timbers!" [More Captain Hook-Norton than the classic villain - Hawkeye puts on his best pirate]


No. Date Hare Details
98122/09/09General Menace