Chip Advisor

The Three Horseshoes

Seer Green

Chip advice dated: 25 October 2016 - Hash #no 1372

Up down pub ranking

[Mick] Only two proper beers - DoomBar & Pride, both at £3.90 a scoop. Stadler struggled to down his "claggy" pint of Pride then switched to Doombar which was as flat as a fashion models chest. Plenty of "p" word mumblings from Hawkeye and Matt's expression said it all. [Matt] ‘P’ standing for ‘piss-poor’ and even then, that might have been stretching it. “I’m not sure whether my taste buds are still working, but does this taste OK to you?” [Andy, proferring his pint of Pride] “Urgghhhhh!!!!” [mine & Hawkeye’s response]. Put it this way, Hawkeye stuck to diet coke after that! I’d have given it a ‘2’ myself, and that was mainly because my Pride was the best of the lot, and that itself was ‘on the turn’ - I guess that’s one advantage of being an ‘injured long’; i.e. getting back earlier with the shorts and leaving the truly awful beer to the longs.
Not beer:
[Mick] Whilst the L & S seemed to be very reasonable, the Moose's lemonade & other Hashers of that strange soft drink persuasion partook of a pint of cola reported a price of £2.80. Tad pricey for pump fizz! [Matt] Apparently £1 for L&S, which is quite a difficult drink to mess up. Luckily no reports of gastro-internal lime poisoning post-hash, so we’ll have to assume they didn’t (mess it up)
[Mick] 9.30, 9.45, nearly 10.00 and no grub. Cue Hashers looking nervous, car keys being fondled, loose change being examined. Interim sustenance arrives in the shape of popcorn and crisps. Then, at last, a smallish tray containing an eclectic mix of chicken bits, onion rings, cheesy stick things and a few chips arrive. Three scenarios - Mike ate the rest, the bulk of the goodies went elsewhere or there just weren't a lot! [Matt] Must admit, hopes were high for what ‘Mr Potatoe Head’ (aka Mike) would produce on the sustenance front after one of his hashes….perhaps a tad too high, a bit like expecting Guardiola to win every game in the Premiership 4-0. In this respect, Mike did drop to the bottom half of the table - in football terms, a brief 2nd half rally with a couple of fancy touches, but too little, too late to affect the result.
[Mick] With a quiz going on hosted by Mr. Stentorian, pool, footie on the telly, loads of other customers hogging the seating and a flood of Titanic proportions in the Gents carsey, one cannot say that it was great. At least the quiz master did the decent thing and swanned off reasonably early. [Matt] Evidently this pub had been done up not all that long ago, but the banquette-style seating in the style of Bet Lynch’s boudoir (think lots of animal print) suggested something more akin to a love-child of the 70’s than a cultured millenial. Apart from that, strangely barren & white-washed, like it couldn’t quite decide whether to be a pub or an upmarket restaurant, and eventually falling between the two stools by the bar which blocked most of the passageway.


Described as " A true village local" and currently up for sale on a leasehold basis, The Three Horseshoes is situated between Bentley land to the South and Clapped out Mk.1 Mondeo land to the North. Prices tend to reflect the former rather than the latter. Well rated by many websites so perhaps HWH3 were unlucky in picking a night to attend when half of Beaconsfield were there including Mr. Big Lungs and the kitchen was on a go slow. [Mick] 

Overheard on the hash (18th Oct 2016)

“Now you’ll see some different markings tonight…..well, you would if the dogs hadn’t already destroyed most of the examples and Gerry wasn’t standing on top of one of them”  [Mike’s pre-hash briefing starts off as smoothly as ever]

“The exclamation marks mean ’Be Careful’ - the badgers have been having a party out there” [Mike gets back on track with his briefing] ”Do you mean party poppers and balloons?” [Hash heckle] “No I mean some big badgers have been digging some big holes along the paths”  [Mike recovers] “Did you get a good look at him - was he heavily-sett ?!” [Hash returns with interest…..whereupon Mike loses interest and moves on]

“It’s OK, we’re walkers, you don’t have to run back to us on the On-Backs”  “But you’re wearing a running top” [Andy points to Matt’s orange top] “I know but I’m walking”  “Why?” [Andy persists] “Because I’m injured”   “But why are you wearing an orange top then?” [Andy still persists] “Look, I’ll just take it off if it’ll make you happy, alright?!” [Matt gives up]

“Right, I make that about 6km for the Short… add on about 1km to walk from my car to the pub, and 1km back again, and I practically went Long anyway” [Barney moans about the need to park in the neigbouring village to Seer Green

“Hmmmm….rather than hash t-shirts….what about a hash towel instead?”  [Tash interrupts the hash technical running t-shirt debate] “Would that be a suggestion from Hash or Mrs Staines….given her new husband’s ‘moistness’ issues?”


No. Date Hare Details
137225/10/16Mr Chips & Judy