Chip Advisor

The Royal Oak


Chip advice dated: 12 January 2016 - Hash #no 1330

Up down pub ranking

£3.75 for Roasted Nuts with the usual array of Rebellion beers, but not much else besides. Lucky Mick - the Rebellion Hater - didn’t stick around for too long, leaving Barney to enjoy his pint of slightly-higher-than-averagely-priced Rebellion beer in peace.
Not beer:
This would have been a zero, were it not for the fact that the Hashalator is not programmed to accept zeros (ask Sooper), and putting a ‘blank’ in would have effectively registered a default score of ‘6’ (I’ll explain the calculations later….yawn). Anyway, a score of zero would have been more than justified - £3 a pint be it soda, lime & soda, blackcurrant - the lot! Well, at least they were consistent.....
Bit hard this one as all the chips had long gone by the time the longs came, so there is room for an upgrade here as apparently there was buttered bread also available (worth at least 1-2 points when combined with chips in Hashing terms). However there were also scraps of flambed pheasant and some sort of meatballs left over (could have been yak’s testicles on 2nd thoughts since this was apparently a Nepalese-run establishment) which the barman kindly reheated (could have done that for the chips as well if there had been any left....just saying!) so 'twas not all in vain. However this did not appease Sooper (a vegetarian) who sat in the corner nursing a £3 lime & soda and a grudge - probably best not to ask him for any rating input during 'dry January'.
Good: Nice wrap around bar, plenty of seating Not so good: Rubbish parking, harsh lighting undid potential ‘cozy’ ambience (shame the fire wasn’t roaring to dry us all out after Kev’s epic ‘Mudfest’) A little foray on TripAdvisor reveals rather divided opinions on this pub - most of the positives were for the adjoining ‘Ghurka Hut’ restaurant whilst a lot of the negatives were for a pub with the same name in Ambleside (Lake District)….I was initially alerted by the following line (no offence to Stokenchurch!) ‘For such a beautiful town to have such an awful pub is beyond belief!’ So, left to our own devices, we’d probably give this a ‘6’ given the inherent contradictions - acceptable but rather dowdy, accommodating staff but ridiculous soft drink prices. Stick that on TripAdvisor!


Hummery: Apparently a Nepalese-run pub (not to be confused with a pub of the same name in The Lake District per TripAdvisor) which would explain the eclectic food on offer (ex chips) and the sky-high prices for soft drinks.


Overheard on the hash (12th January 2016) 

‘Shiggy' ‘Oh, there’s a muddy bit’ ’More Shiggy…’ [about 100m later] I'd give it a rest Jess, that was the dry bit'Matt breaks the harsh reality of a Stokenchurch Muddiest hash to Jess.

Where's the hare?’ [shouted from behind]‘He's with us.’ [shouted back]‘Where?’ [shouted from behind again]‘Here….look, Hare….here’s the Hare……HARE ON!’  ‘What's the opposite of Hare On Sooper? ‘Probably F*ck off at present!’

‘Alex was that you?’ ‘No it was the dog’ ‘Sheesh, that was foul!….foul enough to want to make me run up that hill to get away from the smell’

‘Right that’s it - I’m off. I’ve had enough of this’ Ken throws a minor wobbly at being asked to run down through yet another boggy hill when there was a perfectly good road heading back to the pub

‘It says 6-back……6-back everyone….come on 6-BACK!’ [Gerry turns around and runs back….about 7 miles in, on a muddy hill in the howling wind, with everybody all over the place] No it doesn’t [other members of the hash inspect the markings more closely] Now it definitely doesn’t [a big boot comes in, crushes any signs, and proceeds on up the hill….OK, so it might just have been me!]

‘Do you reckon we should re-introduce down-downs…..I’m thinking about the hare?’ ‘Nah, I think the bumps would be better considering tonight’s run’ Matt & Andy ponder new hash rules

Oh, the Grand Ol Duke of  York, he had 10,000 men…he marched them up to the top of the hill and then marched them down again…’ Kev’s ‘loss of bearings’ was taken in good humour - initially.


No. Date Hare Details
122321/01/14Kamikaze & Kezzer
106712/04/11Kezzer & Kamikaze
100309/02/10Kamikaze & Kezzer