Hash 1504

It’s Tuesday morning a week after the hash and I’ve eventually got around to writing the trash. Most of the time I can’t remember what I did yesterday, it will be a real struggle to remember the events of last weeks hash!

So, as we have had an influx of newbies recently, and our numbers are reaching record proportions [61 this week which is indeed highest on record - ed] , I am going to take the opportunity to pass on top hashing tips (I would say give a reminder of the hash rules, but as we don’t have rules tips it shall be).

Top tips for a good hash for all:

• A big round circle of flour is a check – this means that 1 hasher, 2 max, check in each direction and when they find some flour LOUDLY call ON ON so the rest of the pack can follow.
• If you get to the check and people are already checking DO NOT FOLLOW until you have heard someone call ON ON – otherwise the whole pack will follow you the wrong way which cause hash chaos (and risk getting to the pub too late for chips ☹)
• If you don’t want to stand still at the check, and want some extra miles, then feel free run to the back of the pack instead of following the checkers. The runners at the back are always pleased to have some FRBs come herd them in.
• When you are checking – if it’s the right way you should find flour within 100 yards, roughly 100 paces. If you get further than that, it’s the wrong way, head back to the pack before they run off without you!
• If you do need to have a walk to get your breath back – no problem, just please leave room so those wanting to run can overtake, they will come back to find you at the next on-back or for the really enthusiastic at the next check.
• If you feel the pack is getting a bit strung out then call a voluntary on-back - Anthony and Andy will always come and join you and it gives another opportunity to say hi to those at the back ☺ - this keeps the pack moving and means we have a chance of getting back to the pub in time for chips!
• On the subject of chips – these are paid for by the hare not the hash – so remember to say thank you for their generosity and offer to set a hash so you can make your contribution.
• Our hash numbers are reaching record levels, this is starting to cause issues with parking, space in the pub, cost of chips for hare etc. So please could everyone hold off any more mass invitations for other groups to join us.
• And lastly – as per Rogers recent reminder, please don’t wear muddy shoes into the pub. We want to be respectful and be welcome back another time.

The bits I do remember from last weeks hash:

• Moose likened trying to get hashers to go the right way to trying to persuade snails to go to France (great analogy which I will try and use in the future)
• Nice Butt almost had a head on collision with a very big and speedy deer – one of the few animals that obviously aren’t scared of the vet
• Dick enlightened to me why rugby balls are a certain shape – I’ll let him explain
• There were lots and lots of hills and a few of us got to see them many times
• A grumpy man in a pickup accused us of trying to steal horses and that the police were looking for us (or something along those lines)
• Roger masks are one of the scariest things a hasher can wear! Especially on the back of their heads, so his face is grinning at you as you run up behind, even worse in torch light.
• Scribbler is AKA Bridge Breaker – could he be related to Bench Breaker?
• Wing Commander has strange GM / Wonder woman fantasies
• Amazingly the huge pack managed to fit in the pub and there were plenty of chips for all – thanks Ade for a great run ☺
• (Having re read the above, I am very focused on chips!)