Hash 1599

Ade has a problem! He’s addicted to hashing, like the rest of us. It’s generally  thought that if you run more than three or four hashes then the odds of becoming
addicted are high. If you were to ask Ade he would probably blame it on Gerry, who I am pretty sure first introduced him to hashing.

And so it was that we set off last Tuesday evening, from The General Havelock, to “celebrate” his twenty five years of becoming addicted. The original two-legged General Havelock, if you remember, was a minor celebrity, until he featured in a Hash Zoom Quiz. Then he became an A list celeb, lending his name to all kinds of products, such as pads (catch phrase, “when the going needs stopping, you need a General Havelock behind you”) and cheap lager.

As explained by Moose, the courtship with Gerry and the hash lasted 4 years.

Eventually Moose said yes, and the rest is history (25 years worth) (as is everything else in the past).
The omens were good. No rain and a parking slot behind the pub.

No sign of the early birds though. Perhaps the lack of warmth from the sun meant that they had re-named themselves the Earlier Birds.

Desperate to make sure that he could employ his catch phrase later on, we shot off, all athletic like, down Beech Road and vaulted the river Wye and headed up stream.

In a matter of moments we were vaulting discarded pizza boxes at Wycombe Marsh which seemed to come in twos. Jump one and you can trip over a second free.
Which warmed us up nicely for the riverside walk where you can jump one can and trip over the next, also free.

Skipping merrily, we reached Bowden Lane and ignored, as instructed, the mini parked by the side of the road. This mini is the great grand car of the mini that Moose was driving at the beginning of his hashing career (sic, his reputation precedes him).

At the site of the old Wren Davis dairy, there is now a retirement complex. Mr Eager looked up at the windows and thought he saw signs of movement. “That is so unfair, he said. Why doesn’t someone take them out for a walk” (at 8 pm, in the dark, tripping over the pizza boxes). Mr Eager is all heart.

We all knew what was coming next. To the locals it is known as the stairway to heaven as so many people have found to their cost. To we hashers, it was time to select a low gear, 4 wheel drive and just power up the slope (or not) (the pitch on the steps does not lend itself to regular pace).

Where we went after that I cannot say. For certain it was Dean Garden Wood. If the trees were not there, we could have seen his house from there. But as it was, the trail felt more like a deer track than a public footpath, so it was all eyes to the ground lest we too inherit the “Moose” monicker.

After what seemed an age and much upping and downing, we emerged on Lime Avenue, home to hashers past and present.

Back down to Bassetsbury Lane. Mr Eager was still there, hatching an escape plan for the inmates. The mini was still there, but this time we were allowed to see it.

The tail gate was up so the 25 year anniversary celebration could begin. Thank you Moose, for this and for the 25 years of companionship that we have all enjoyed.

Two lost souls were missing. Wing Co had droned by to the pub before realising that he was not meant to be on a solo mission. Ditto, IGSH who was so transfixed by the droning ahead that he too forgot the instruction given at the start. Never mind, the extra mlleage (5.5m + 2m) is bound to be good for you.

Back at the pub it was T shirt time.

The first was for the female prerogative on 100 runs. Lovely to see you fully recovered from your Covid adventure. A second for Budgie (250 runs) who would quite like to be called the female prerogative, but his gender reassignment forms have gone missing on Bondi Beach.

And last, but not least, Steady (350 runs) with a T shirt that shows you are never too old be away with the fairies and the unicorns.

Thank you Moose. We had a great time. Here’s to the next 25 years. (I can hear his groan from here).

"Jokes"

What do you get if you cross a moose with a ghost? A cari-boo.

What do you say to a moose that went to the optician? That’s a good eyed deer.

Did you hear about the moose who went rock-climbing? He held on for deer life.
(I can hear his groan from here).