On a balmy evening in June the order was given to fall in! The Hash Troops gathered from all corners of Beaconsfield Old Town (having parked their tanks, jeeps and bikes in discrete areas around the town).
We were not to ‘fall in’to the pub just yet.
Corporal Tom was announced as AWOL and Sergeant Dan issued the orders of the day.
“A military route marked to the left, to the right, to left, to right, left, right, left, right with no threat of weapons of mass destruction to impede our foray.”
It was to be a march of 5.6 miles with an escape route for the yellow bellies.
After kit inspection the ‘quick- march’ was given (check it out) and the platoon scattered in all directions, so we were ordered by our sergeant “on, on straight across” . The obedient troops crossed the road and made a sharp left into Shepherd’s Lane.
With everyone yomping at a fair lick we were soon at a check by the A335 and on to the ‘cinder track’.
“ A good place to die” was the cry as we passed the St. John’s Ambulance Hut.
“But they don’t meet on Tuesdays” says Jo who knows!
Then ho! what’s this - has the sergeant spilt the flour?
No, it was an obstacle course of graffiti which we quickly traversed with no casualties. However we then encountered some urban ‘gorillas’ armed with water bombs, but with cunning evasive strategies we were all through safely ( with only the odd damp head) and on down Maxwell Road (birthplace of the infamous D. B. M.Sc. C.A.E.&Scar).
A sharp right and we crossed the London- Birmingham rail connection, through more urban development to Ledborough Lane then right again to arrive at the A335 (again) with no further skirmishes.
Here the squad split and the yellow bellies proceeded towards Seer Green while the elite corps headed North towards the K. Bates Estate - who was he? ask.D.B.
Two enemy vehicles were spotted in the next field brandishing litter grabbers, but being outnumbered they beat a hasty retreat.
Another right down a tree lined drive to South Lodge and the A355 again, at Whipass Hill. Safely across into woodland, fields, woodland, with a left and a right and a left, right, left, right. Into Bottom Lane along Long Bottom Lane with a right over the road narrowly escaping a speeding motorist!
A peaceful pleasant woodland path and I was privy to some top secret information - apparently H & C are AWOL sunning themselves and J has a door key to go and feed the ancient beloved fish BUT the said key didn’t fit the door! Well it is a new door so maybe its the wrong key or is the right key left at J’s home? Is the left key the right key? - will the fish die? Will this incident get mentioned in dispatches or is it top secret still.
Heading towards Wilton Park Army School a further skirmish with the enemy on noisy motorbikes caused confusion amongst the troops. Evasive action was required and Sergeant Dan called an ON BACK! the message was relayed to the front runners who promptly obeyed and a confrontation was avoided.
Into the trees a necessary diversion saw the brave troops balancing on a fallen tree over shark infested waters - all bar one renegade (Golden Shower) who deserted - and will face a court martial.
At Boot Camp the mess was closed and the troops were called into three lines ready to get their marching orders. Sam made a fourth and was severely reprimanded.
With a “Quick March at a slow jog” order the platoon set off with a left-right left-right left-left-left and a song from Matt to jolly us along.
Yomping along again the troops soon became fragmented but as the ON INN was shouted spirits lifted and everyone returned safely to base camp where they were dismissed. The mess was open. Drinks, chips and chocolate were greedily consumed by the exhausted platoon after a successful sortie on the flat plains around Beaconsfield. Thanks to Sergeant Dan and his AWOL partner Tom (Dan read the map very well Tom to get us round your Long route!)
Several TOSCA nominations were made but the winner this month is Dick for his superb organisation of Ridgeway Relay, where HWH3 were the first hash team home (out of two). Well done to them and also to all the mad runners who took part in the scorching Thame 10K on Sunday and thanks to Anthony for an excellent post race BBQ.