Thanks Jo for kick-starting the hash trash, I’d like to think of an elaborate excuse but ‘I’ve been too busy adding up’ is the best I can come up with! So here’s Jo’s hash trash with my added extras in bold! Jo… over to you.
Well, another typical British summer's evening…grey and damp!! But that didn't dampen the spirits of the regulars, and some newbies, to the Tuesday night hash in Hurley. Now, I'm not sure if the newbies were virgins to HWH3, or pure-as-the-undriven-snow-hashing-virgins, or had in fact been once or twice before and we'd missed them due to our own absence (due to holidays, back injuries, colds, blisters, eye appointments or any other excuse we have come up with lately). How did Matt manage to book the thunder, lightening and torrential downpours at the same pub 2 years running? Note to self, if Matt picks the same venue next year make sure you’re due to be indoors that day.
The reason we don't know the status of the unfamiliar faces is we missed the pre-hash blurb. We did however learn from the prompt bods that the long run tonight was 10 miles. While Helen jumped with joy at the prospect, I nearly fainted and was tempted to stumble back to my car for a sit down. But I managed to control my fear, and we set off once the on-on had been called. I must admit, tempting as a 10 mile run sounded, I was worried that the shorts might get back and scoff all the chips!
Off we trotted leaving The Rising Sun behind in the gloom. Having the bearings of a flea, I have no idea where we went as usual, the only thing I know is were heading in the direction of the Thames. On the way there were many puddles and lots of mud. But thankfully the rain was holding off. Er, until it started raining! Stopping briefly to put waterproofs on, we could see the river approaching up ahead.
Being somewhere near the back, which is where I like to hang-out (through choice of course), I could see a regroup occurring up ahead on the river bank. All became apparent very quickly!! The trail was due to take us over the river in a blow up dinghy. But, before we had reached the river, the dinghy had got into some difficulty in the torrential storm (that was the cover up story at least, it had in fact been pecked by a hungry duck) and got a puncture and sank (probably not a wreck I would recommend to any willing scuba divers however) We were stranded! It was now clear that the hare was not joking about the 10 mile run, as this is the distance it would take to run up the river, over the other side, back down the river to the place where we had meant to get off the dinghy. (I think this is where SiCo said we should insert something about a seaman drowning due to a split rubber? Or something like that, anyway consider it duly inserted.) I missed that comment… good one Simon!
So as we huddled under a tree, trying to keep out the rain, the decision was made to do the short run instead (phew!) I was slightly relieved, not only to avoid a 10 mile run but I could almost see the disaster that was avoided thanks to the duck, er I mean the stormy conditions! I could almost see the headlines "10 hashers missing, last seen in small inflatable dinghy floating down the Thames towards a violent weir". I was secretly hoping someone would take up the challenge of swimming across and ‘borrowing’ the boat so temptingly moored at the other side but alias no takers, wonder why?
It was on-on right up the river. Stories of GB's Olympic triumphs were told and the GM gave an animated account of how soldiers mounted and dismounted their steads (I think it was "During the War….") and then it was up and over the river luckily via a non-inflatable bridge. Thankfully we managed to run off when the GM got past the routines for how to mount a horse, a bike……seriously worried what he was going to come up with next!
After this we reached the decision point – who would want to come for an extra jaunt to get back a few of the promised 10 miles. I think at this point Jo used one of the blister, eye, cold excuses and headed back to the pub with Simon and Natasha. As for me, the thought of more mud and potential rain was just too appealing so off we went. Roger said we’d go to some place I can’t remember and back again. I had no idea where that was so just kept running until the risk of no chips being left was too great so we better head back. On the way we debated the merits of going through puddles vs. going around. Personally following a soaking from Mick early in the run I thought I may as well go for it and splashed through the muddiest puddles with glee! Dan however will now be known as a mud dodger, with some very graceful leaps displayed in the efforts to avoid getting wet (think there was an excuse about ankles but can’t remember the detail!).
So on we rushed back to the pub, dreaming of some nice hot chips (obviously needing warming up, it being the beginning of August J), only to be met with the news that the fryer as broken. Thankfully Plan B came into action and Jo & I found a new taste sensation in the form of bacon fries – truly must try them in a crisp sandwich one day! A taste sensation indeed… it’s the future.
I started off well with the run report, thanks Helen for finishing it off (I don’t know what happened in the last few miles as I had to do the short due to the cold-eye-blister that had developed during the early part of the run)
All in all a great run, thanks for all the effort Matt, and thanks from me too, maybe next year it will be third time lucky…………..never did find out what the thick brown envelope was for though????