Britain, Britain, Britain. A land made up of well , land. Fine land made of rock and chalk and sand and mud , oh and lets not forget the doggie, horsie, cow and other furry friends droppings.
Now in Britain there are places that are as flat as last weeks tonic water and some which are not so flat. In Welsh Wales there is Snowdonia and in Scottish Scotland there are the Cairngorms. These places are not flat being known as mountainous or hilly.
Here in English England we also have parts which are not entirely flat such as The Pennines or, more to the point THE CHILTERNS. It was in the Chilterns that Barney elected to set last weeks run after carefully consulting the map to find the place with most hills – SPEEN.
Feeling quite vertiginous due to the altitude we listened as Barney started us off with a long/short split. It is to be noted that Elayne was with him, this presumably for the supply of oxygen which she has with her.
With the longcutters turning left from the pub, us of more sensible nature, or in my case rounder waist, went left to Speen Road where a pleasant descent took us on down to Pye Corner. Here the trail went in an entirely unexpected direction left to a footpath on up through College Plantation – Yes dear readers, the first of many lung busting, knee nobbling HILLS.
We emerged on Spring Coppice Lane where my eldest daughter briefly lived until discovering that rent is for life not just for xmas. A right turn took us down past “Balnakiell” – the modest house and 5 acres of my ex boss, mind you with the credit crunch I suppose it’s barely worth 1 million now !! Wonderful what a large payoff can do for you.
Oh dear, over the Bryants Bottom Road leads to the gut buster up to Denner farm so guess where we went – you’ve got it on up, up, up into the clouds to get a good look at passing air traffic. From here, right passing the farm and then mercifully downhill to quite the nastiest stile ever encountered by HWH3 with a vicious drop covered in slippery mud awaiting the unsuspecting hasher.
After a short perambulation down to Hampden Road, guess what – yes a thoroughly nasty near vertical pull up to Norton Wood and onwards through the thin air to a point at which Barney proudly gasped that we were “nearly in Prestwood”. After many rumblings from the assembled masses, a long/short split with the shorties running back down through Norton Wood and the longcutters going on a well deserved extra loop (Complete with extra mountains).
The trail led down to Stony Green Bottom before ascending yet another 1 in 1, this time up to Dennerhill Farm where even the cows wear breathing equipment! Left here then sharp left down a very dodgy ski slope to Bryants Bottom Road.
From here even I could guess where we were going. As the record said “the only way is up” and so we again roped up for the long and arduous slog up to and through the grounds of New House farm . From here, a rarity – a flat bit, (and quite the only one on the whole run), as we ran through the end of Piggot’s Wood, down across a meadow to arrive at the end of Spring Coppice Lane.
“Nearly there” was the cry until realisation dawned that the pub was still at the summit whilst we were at Base Camp Zero. Oh yes, another long hill just to put the cherry on the hilly cake.
In redemption, Barney and Elayne had laid on a pile of chips and I think the publican had done the decent thing and added heaps of scrummy tatties to them. These where tacked with gusto once a huge amount of reflation had been achieved following The Speen Hilly.
Due to the lack of oxygen, I cannot remember whether the GM was there but think he was and that even he had little to say as he was well and truly knackered.
Cheers Barney. One to remember.