A grim, ghastly and gormless gathering of ghoulish gargoyles and goons greeted my gaze on arriving in 40 Green (Which as Dick pointed out as handy signs all down the main road to tell you you've arrived). Having gurned for the obligatory retina-scorching photography session with Gerry (mostly to be Photoshopped into choice images from his extensive collection obtained from www.phwoarhaveaganderatthose.com, for use on future t-shirts) we staggered, flapped, stomped & clumped off into a dark and gloomy night.
It was fairly early on in the evening when I remembered that hashing in a wizard's pointy hat, which adds anothe two feet to my already statuesque 6"4', makes the call of "heads!" redundant on the grounds that every tree and bush represents a health & safety hazard. Also, my vampire cape, on its fourth? fifth? outing - top quality gear from Bassetsbury Balloons Party Shop - being made of heavy duty polyurethane, a fabric not known for its permeability, was collecting every drop of perspiration - nice! We soon found ourselves in the depths of Penn Wood, stumbling through the ghostly mist in search of the trail - which like a spooky spectre was there one moment and gone the next. Shiggy abounded amidst the trees, leading to a transformation of the usual cry of "On On" into something a little more like "Aaaaawwwwoooooaoooroaoorooaooaoaoaooogghghhhhh!!!!" Shorts and Longs split, Dan boldly leading us off-trail at one point with a confident, "I BELIEVE I know where we are" - yes, and I believe in the Tooth Fairy... A quick look at the map and we found our way back onto flour. Even more splodging through shiggy, and we were almost home - or so we thought, until the trail turned up the road once more, and took us up hill and down dale before eventually swinging us through the fields into Jane's extensive back garden. I managed to fall smack on my backside in some of that shiggy on the final furlong, and by the time I'd found my car, changed into some dry clothes and trekked back, the bonfire was nought but glowing embers, the last of the soup had to be scraped out of the pan with the ends of baguette, and in fact I'd been so long Barney was almost ready to launch a third rocket. I shall let Gerry's pics paint another few thousand words, and finish up with this delicious recipe for vanilla fudge, courtesy of Mike: Ingredients 300ml milk
350g caster sugar
100g unsalted butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
Method
1. Grease an 18cm square cake tin.
2. Put the milk, sugar and butter in a heavy-based saucepan. Heat slowly, stirring all the time, until the sugar has dissolved and the butter melted.
3. Bring to the boil and boil for 15-20 minutes, stirring all the time.
4. Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla extract. Leave to cool for 5 minutes.
5. Beat the mixture with a spoon for a few minutes until it starts to thicken and the gloss disappears.
6. Pour into the prepared tin and leave to set at room temperature (do not put it in the fridge).
7. Once set, cut the fudge into small squares. 8. Scoff the lot before anyone else can get a look-in. 9. And make sure you tell any stragglers, "There's some very tasty fudge... oh, I think I just ate the last piece - it was nice though!"