Hash 972

That well known hostelry known as The Palmer Arms already set in the dank drizzle of a summer time Tuesday in the Chilterns,- awaited the flurry of Super Hero’s to arrive.

One by one they emerged out of their various forms of transport, scurried across the road and paraded around the back of the Inn to show off their finery.

The Galloping Granny, or was it Old Mother Hubbard? or maybe it was the Witch in Snow White?... led the way.

Soon Tom Watson, the 50 year old Barbie, 200 odd versions of Superman, The Cadbury’s milk Tray Man resplendent in his now ill fitting but elegant evening dress suit, American Hero, Rambo, at least 2 Jokers, 2 Lara Crofts (Who?), Buzz Light-year, Captain America, Cat Woman, The female version of The Gladiator, (Zena? - you know, her the one with the big chopper!), 2 Batmen, Robin, Adolf Hitler, The Pope, Barrack Obama, Gandhi, Attila the Hun, Mother Theresa, Max Wall, Django Reinhardt, Butch Cassidy, Glen Miller, Bambi, Roy Rogers, the Teletubbies, the entire cast from Ben Hur, Pontius Pilate and last but not least, the Super Chef herself Delia Smith, emerged from the kitchen and………… everyone awaited the Creator of Mankind.

All stood in reverence and in hushed expectancy for the most famous Super Hero of all. The air of expectancy was obvious, you could actually FEEL the tension rising, in fact you could cut it with a knife. The Hare was chomping at the bit waiting to brief the assembly of world Statesmen and Super heroes. Then……………. out of the gathering gloom the unmistakable fall of feet once washed by the Lake of Galilee was heard, the assembly stood to attention and respectfully observed a hushed whisper.

Now the tension was unbearable, …..And then finally and to everyone’s relief, the Super hero to dominate and all Super Hero’s arrived. …………….By now everyone was kneeling on the floor to pay homage to him. Noses were pressed in reverence into the carpet. Slowly we lifted our eyes and there in front of the shining light that followed him and underneath the halo that sat on his head, we beheld the unmistakable icon of mankind. Was it really him? Was his living image a trick of the fast fading light? Could he really have deigned to grace our presence?  

The fanfare, the pageantry, the significance of the occasion overwhelmed us. Moon landings, The Ascension, ‘D’ Day Landings, the death of Michael Jackson… all of them paled into insignificance. There in front of our eyes we beheld, (and here the writer’s fingers tremble over the keyboard before revealing the omnipotence of our Lord and Master)……Simon Cope!  Yes indeed, the man himself there before us. We wondered if we could actually touch him, we wondered at the impact that his first words would have on humanity and how they might alter our plans for the coming weekend. Would he bless us? Would he utter some immortal words of eternal significance for us to relate to our grand children?  ‘Simon Cope’, say it again, slowly this time and let the syllables dwell on your lips. ‘Simon Cope’. Ah Simon, - how well you coped!

The very name ‘Simon’ should be etched in stone and the stone tablet laid in Westminster Abbey .What an outstanding effort to dress for the significance of the evening. - What a Hasher!

Drizzle, woods, slippery paths, handcuffs, Krypton’s, Mick still dispensing his Milk Tray contents, the sucking of Chocolate Willy’s with expression and gusto, Jo’s discomfort at her cape chafing, the GM practicing his golf swing for The Open, Tracey sweating in her costume, Gerry cursing his hot head under his toupee, Ken doing his Blind Pew act under his mask, Matt, (aka Rambo), shooting rabbits, Dashwood Dick with his rapid change act in the woods, Zena chopping down trees, new boy Philip’s ignorance in how to spell the most famous ice cream in the world, Roger’s brilliant T shirt for Scooper’s 250th run, Gerry’s generosity in the quality and quantity of booze, prizes and hospitality, Rose’s magnificent 3 course spread all helped to make this a most memorable evening.

Oh, and there was a run as well, complete with forfeits and rude chocolates, not to mention a race around an extra loop for the speedier of the Long Cutters.  Matt made an incredible time around with a wild charge that left even Lara/Helen in the dust beneath his feet.
Pity about Whipping Boy though!